Wednesday, July 15, 2015

I'm Impatient

Impatience, thy name is Ava.

This is me right now.
About everything.

With sporadic upgrades to this:

I occasionally want to say things like this to my email inbox:

And this is a new thing for me. I'm usually very patient, but my well has run dry. For the past year I've been doing too much volunteering and not taking any time for myself. I also seem to be surrounded by people (in the real world, not on the internets, and not The Man or Urchins) that only want to be bothered with me if I'm doing something for them.

So, I'm reacting poorly. If anyone asks something from me, I want to do this:

Of course I reign it in. A bit. But I'm not biting when people hint around that they want me to do something. Which is completely out of character for me. So, I'm coming to grips with this whole new feeling.

How are you guys doing? Any tips on how to elegantly or effectively say no?


Pat Hatt said...

The cat just says no and away he shall go. Maybe say you have to go hack up a hairball, people don't like those lol

Julie Flanders said...

LOL LOL I totally love all of these gifs. Unfortunately they all could be me lately too. Patience is never one of my virtues and this summer even more so than usual.

Anna (herding cats-burning soup) said...

Oh man. That's not fun in real life or e-life when people just want to take take take.

I kind of stopped with the elegant nos and just flat out no at people these days. Only so many hours in the day and life is way too short to be so busy and stressed every day. Hope you're able to figure out something that works for ya.

The Happy Whisk said...

Very, very glad to hear that you'll start taking care of yourself again. I shall make you brownies, hope you don't mind allergy-free, and teleport them your way.

Melissa said...

You just smile and turn the hint around on them. And hold your ground.

Better yet, take a vacation alone and let them see what it's like without you.

I know what you're going through. We're in the teenager stage over here where they expect everything done for them. It's hard for mom to stay gracious.

Liz Blocker said...

GOOD FOR YOU. You do so much for other people- no wonder you're frustrated and impatient! The best relationships are reciprocal, right? I try to save my (limited) time for people who give as much as I do. Take some time for yourself, too :)

Loni Townsend said...

I blame my kids and claim I need to watch them. They make great scapegoats.

M.J. Fifield said...

I've never managed the art of saying no. That's partly why I ended up working on so many of my days off.

You definitely need to take some time for yourself once in a while.

Love the gifs. I really want to write a post now where I could make use of some of them. :)

Carol Kilgore said...

I'm not great at saying no, but I'm oh-so-much better than I was. I'm not very graceful about it either. I'd like to be better at that. The more I say no, the easier it is the next time. It's much easier to say to non-family members. At least it is for me.

So next time, Just. Say. No. If they give you any grief, tell them you've given up volunteer work to have more time for yourself and your family who had been all but ignored because you were too busy volunteering. No further explanation required. Except they'll keep gnawing, trying to find an "in" so stand firm and don't even offer to do one little thing. That was the whole trick for me.

Chemist Ken said...

I'm no good at saying no either. I can't even say no to my cat. Just put on a plaintiff, exhausted look and wait until they apologize for troubling you. :)

Stephanie Faris said...

I read advice somewhere that said we should just say no. No excuses, just no. That feels wrong, though. I feel like we have to at least be polite and say, "Sorry, but I can't." But beyond that, you owe NO explanation.

Ava Quinn said...

@Pat- lol! Hairball aversion therapy?

@Thanks, Julie. We'll have to create a support group together.

@Anna- I think you're my new hero! :D

@Ivy- Woo hoo!!

@Melissa- Ho boy, teenage years. I'll pray for you. lol!

@Liz- Thanks, girl! I'm working on taking your excellent advice.

@Loni- Great tip!!

@MJ- I'm now a little gif crazy. Love them.

@Carol- Awesome advice. I really need to get practicing my no!

@Ken- lol!! Good one!

@Stephanie- Yes. I'm an explainer and nervous talker. I need to take your advice and treat No. as a complete sentence!

Lexa Cain said...

Doing things for people is like paying it forward & hoping karma will smile on you. But everyone can overextend and get burned out. Take a break and spend time on yourself for a change. Thanks so much for the tweet about my book. Have a wonderful weekend!

Tyrean Martinson said...

Love those gifs! I usually feel pretty good about helping others, but there is always a limit. We need to take care of ourselves too with exercise or rest, or just time doing something fun.

Christine Rains said...

I know the feeling. I'm still working on saying no myself. Now I need to watch Galaxy Quest. :)

Chrys Fey said...

I do things for others too much when they do nothing for me. Ever. We both have to learn to say no. And the bad thing is...I'm a very impatient person. ;)

Haddock said...

I would advice to go easy on that volunteering and strike a balance for your personal needs.

Ava Quinn said...

@Lexa- Thanks for the advice and any time! :)

@Tyrean- Exactly. I'm constantly doing for others but rarely for me. Need some me time.

@Christine- Yes, time to say some nos. Yay Galaxy Quest!!

@Chrys- Yes! You can be in the support group with Julie and me!

@Haddock- Thanks! I'm working on it.

Sherry Ellis said...

I used to volunteer for everything. It totally got out of hand. I experienced burn out, which is probably what you're feeling. Now I volunteer for only a few things a year. That's enough. I just say I'm busy if anything else comes along.

Jemi Fraser said...

I sometimes have the same troubles. It's so hard to say no, but it's also necessary! It helps me keep my sanity ... mostly!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

You do volunteer way too much. Take some time to do things you want to do. Good on ya!

Coco Love said...

It seems I'm on the right track, I hope I can do well. The result was something I did and was doing to implement it.

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