I'm opening a new store. It's called The Angry Villager, for all your torch and pitchfork needs. Because really, who doesn't need a pitchfork and torch supplier?
The Angry Villager houses a handsome array of torches from super flammable straw to reusable metal.
Pitchforks with handles fashioned from several different materials will be available for your enjoyment. From traditional wood to light-weight fiberglass, and many styles in between, you'll always find just what you're looking for. We even have a room just for tridents if your angry mobbing turns to underwater warfare.
We can handle bulk orders to outfit you and your angry mob with express and overnight shipping.
A knowledgeable staff member (ahem, me) will be on-hand to answer your questions and help you select just the right torch or pitchfork for your immediate need.
Heirloom pieces will be available for special order. Monogramming is extra.
Novelty merchandise will also be for sale at The Angry Villager soon.
Including the Angry Mob playset.
So shop now and shop often. Operator (uh, me again) is standing by to take your orders.
2 hours ago