Thursday, February 25, 2010

My Economic Stimulus Plan

It's snowing again. The three feet we got two weeks ago wasn't enough, apparently. But I've come up with a way to deal with all the piled up snow and make a little money to boot.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

And Then Something Good Happened

The day started at two am when my fifteen year old incontinent dog strolled through my bedroom. The faintest jingle of her chain is enough to get me throwing off the soft warm blankets and hustling her little ass outside. Two thirty rolls around and she wakes me from a light sleep with her bark to come back in.

I get up at six, get ready, stagger down stairs to find dog crap in the living room. So much for the early hour foray into the cold cruel world.

The urchins were in rare form. Sleep deprived, but refusing to sleep, they commenced their ceaseless zombie attacks on each other and anything within a ten foot radius. By nine I had freely offered up my brain as sacrifice only so I wouldn't have to listen to the constant bickering any more.

I've somehow turned into a phlegm factory in the last few days. Let me tell you I wish I could outsource this factory work to a different country.

The vacuum exploded in a huge cloud of dust right before it went kaput, and I'm pretty sure the couch ate one of my slippers.

I had no time, energy or desire to write at all today, and I really need to up my word count.

Then, late tonight after endless errands to the accompaniment of constant whining, I sputtered into our local supermarket gas station on fumes. And that's when it happened. Like a divine beam of light illuminating the dial after the super market card was swiped. I earned $1.10 off every gallon on the fill-up, making it $1.51 a gallon. And just like that, the whole day was saved.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I Will See This One

on the big screen.

I don't see many movies a year. I didn't see Ninja Assassin in the theater like I wanted to. This one I will do my damndest to see. I loved Greek and Roman mythology when I was a girl. I still enjoy it. The original Clash of the Titans was my favorite movie for a long time when I was younger. And I'll admit I'm a Ray Harryhausen fan.(Oops my geek is showing. I also watched the original Dr. Who when I was a kid, but haven't seen any of the new ones. And yes I have a favorite Dr.)

The original CotT stayed pretty close to legend, though they did combine some elements. The new one will apparently be in 3D. I will neither deny or confirm rumors that when I heard this I wet my pants a little. (only joking, remember the name of the blog.*sheesh*)

I don't think they stayed as true to the myths in this newer one, but it looks like they're making a bigger storyline to add to the tension. I can dig it. We'll see how it pans out before I give them a full pass on any bastardization of mythology though. They do have the added draw, in my book of Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. I'm a fan of both actors' work.

On a completely different note, I need only 140 words to reach my writing goal for the month. I have to get on that!

Until next time, citizens!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Super Villain Update

So the Super Villain plans are on the back burner right now. My negotiations with the sea monkeys are bogged down in lawyer speak. The sea monkeys, which hitherto will be referred to as the first party, have resisted my attempts at a hostile take over and flat out refuse to become my minions. I was so sure I could bend them to my will.

The costuming is becoming a problem as I field test. Each material has its own unique set of advantages and disadvantages. Leather, which had been my first pick, really doesn't breathe well. And it constricts movement. So my kung-fu actions would be hindered. Though it does afford a certain amount of protection, especially if I decide that a motorcycle will be my main form of transportation. Spandex, on the other hand, allows for free range of motion, yet no protection whatsoever. Plus, I just don't have the body for it any more. I mean, I want to be taken seriously as a major player in the realm of Super Villains, right?

Also, in my sea monkey negotiations, they want a nod. One of their demands is that I must wear a sea monkey crest or logo of some sort. And while I have a long history of battling sea monkeys and am aware of their wily and nefarious nature, their pr people are just too darn good. For years they've been cleaning up their image. I mean, you tell me, how is this supposed to strike fear into the hearts of an unsuspecting populace?

So I'm stalled. I'm sure everything will turn out all right in the end and my minions will come online. And the costuming issues will fall into place. Until then, it's back to the grind.

But, faithful legions, I would appreciate your input on an impromptu poll regarding my costuming and transportation issues. Please select your favorite from each category. Post your selections to the comments. All opinions welcome. Thanks, and have a slimy sea monkey day!

amphibious landing craft
armored personnel carrier
Vespa and water wings

Costume material
sea weed
breathable 100% cotton

Sea monkey logo
just the head with crown
crossed tridents with sea monkey hand, head, pet sea horse and castle in the four spaces to form a shield crest
Stylized SMW which stands for Sea Monkey Woman

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Secret Confesions III

Just in case you missed them:
Secret Confessions I
Secret Confessions II

This one's kind of girlie. Be forewarned. I don't usually indulge in a lot of girliness, unless you count the rainbow farting unicorns in my happy place.

So here it is. The secret confession. I am infatuated with Joe Nichols' mouth. Really. There's just something about it that mesmerizes me. I think it's the under bite. I just can't take my eyes off it. It's crazy.

My brain knows that practiced cocky grin is all part of the show, but that knowledge doesn't keep my panties from bursting into flames every time he flashes it.

Here's his latest song, that rationally, I know panders to women, but for some reason I can't help myself from liking it. I used to be much more savvy. I must be slipping in my old age.

So there it is. Whew. Boy, I feel better already. Any thing you'd like to get off your chest? Feel free. The comments are all yours.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Things I Should've Known

but forgot.

1. When put together, fuzzy pajamas and flannel sheets act like Velcro.

2. When lifting heavy items (like three feet of snow with a shovel) one should bend at the knees.

3. Throwing a snowball that accidentally smacks the recipient in the kisser after said recipient spent the entire afternoon snowblowing three feet of snow is not a good idea.

4. Fleeing for one's life in hip deep snow is very slow going. If the drag doesn't get you, the fear will.

5. Snow shoved down your back to drench your underthings is not a pleasant sensation.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Oh How My Mind Can Wander

I want to bring pith helmets into fashion. I want to make calling someone a "hep cat" a cool thing to do once again. I wanna say some guy is "the bee's knees" and slip in a "Right, daddy-o!" and have it catch on.

I want to walk around in a sequined sombrero and platform shoes and give everyone I pass "the wink and the gun".

But I don't want to write on Shifting.

Oh how my mind can wander and create useless things to think about when I procrastinate and avoid. See, this is where the rainbow farting unicorns came from. Right here in this procrastination place. A dangerous place for me to be. Soon the shiny new ideas will come to call, tempting me to write them down.

A dangerous place for me to be today. A dangerous place indeed.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Writing and Snowing and Aging-Oh My!

Well, there's sixteen inches of snow on the ground and it's still falling. Suffice it to say I will not be riding my motorcycle any time soon.

I will also not be going to our monthly writer's meeting. It was canceled last night. And rightly so, but I really could have used the writing boost. I didn't make my monthly goal, but what needed to be done on the wip changed from when I made the goal as the month progressed. I did make progress. (Yay I got the synopsis finished!) So this month I need to up my word count. We'll see if I get it done.

And finally, I must be getting old because this somehow spoke to me.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Motorcycles Are To Anti-Aging Creams As . . .

It snowed last night. It snowed and dashed all my hopes of getting out on my motorcycle. I blame the damn groundhog and its six more weeks of winter. I've been needing to get out on my motorcycle like a druggie needs a fix.

Psychological. It's all in my head. And my head is telling me I'm old. It's telling me that I should cut my hair and get a responsible 'do. It's telling me that I should stop wearing my watch that has the picture of Grover from Sesame Street on it. It's telling me it is now undignified to make up specific victory dances for when I get a spare versus a strike during Wii bowling.

And so I need the ride. I need it to remind myself that all this is temporary and to grab the experiences by the throat and never let go. I need the ride to remind me that I would hate to have that responsible 'do in my coffin. And I need the ride to remind me that the world doesn't only exist of anatomically impossible cartoon girls and sickeningly sweet dinosaurs. There really are other things beyond these walls. If only I could get on my motorcycle and find them.

So I have to wait until spring to get out from under the winter doldrums and onto my Ninja. Hopefully Disney won't completely take over the country by then, covering it in a carpet of big eyed princesses that reek of pasty political correctness.

If only I could go for a ride.

Because if I don't soon, I have a feeling I'll do something like this.

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