I'm Feeling a Little Like Jim Today

Don't Look At This

if you are at all squeamish. This is your only warning. It is pretty intense.

Last month I was at a certain "Mart" late in the evening, on my own for once, and saw something from a distance that had me doing a double take. A woman, who was flaunting a pretty high skank factor, had a shirt that was closed at the back of the neck, and waist, but gapped open between. Her spine was revealed in this particular garment. And I saw what I believed was a red tattoo of corset ribbons running the length of her back, exposed by the shirt.

Later when I got home, I mentioned it to The Man, and he asked, "Are you sure it was a tattoo?"

In my naivete, I asked, "What else could it be?" Oh, to be young and innocent like I was before I found out about this:







This is corset piercing. I'm probably behind the times and everyone knows about it but me, but I was actually kind of shocked to see it. Here's another:






So of course, I had to see what it was like to get it done. Suffice it to say, I did the squicky dance with full on hand shaking and shudders. I'm not going to post the video here, but if you're brave enough, this is the link: corset piercing for prom Click at your own peril.

So that's my newest education to date. Now that we're all up to speed, I have to go research custom windshields for motorcycles. All part of my top secret minion negotiations with the sea monkeys. Until next time, citizens.

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings

If you're not listening to them, you're missing out.



They are an amazing combination. Fantastic soul band and a talented singer. I really like their song, "I Just Dropped In To See What Condition My Condition Is In". Great line from it - Pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in.

Sharon Jones reminds me a little of Ruth Brown. She was an amazing woman. In the early 1950's, her label, Atlantic Records, was known as the house that Ruth built.



She had a great sense of humor, and was one of the hardest working entertainers of her time. She had sixteen top ten hits with five of them going to number one. One of her albums declared R + B= Ruth Brown. Ain't it the truth?

Why Is It That

~ my biggest fantasy right now is to acquire a sleep number bed?

~ the more laundry I do, the more there is; yet articles of my clothing go MIA?

~ I only have three tube socks? Not three pair, just three matching socks.

~ the radio stations around here insist on playing Billy Joel every hour?

~ every time I get close to making the sea monkeys my minions, their lawyer shows up, dripping sea water on my carpets, and brandishing more demands?

~ my motorcycle rides never last as long as they ought to?

Kick Ass Heroines Presented

Yesterday I traveled down to the Valley Forge Romance Writers group to give my kick ass heroine presentation. I had a great time with the ladies and thought it went very well, though some were under the impression that I would be throwing the participants around and generally beating them up.

Even with that rumor circulating, Carla, (whom I met at the NJ conference last October and helped coordinate my being this month's guest speaker for them) bravely stepped forward to be a victim, I mean volunteer, to illustrate some of the points I made during the talk. Many others stepped up to help me demonstrate too. Which I was very grateful for!

I had a great time, and the authors were a wonderful group of people who made me feel very welcome. I was so glad to meet them, even though they thought I was there to actually kick their asses! (I think they could've taken me, if push came to karate chop.)

They even asked me to come back next year, which I would LOVE to do. It was a great time. I hope they got a lot out of it and felt it was worthwhile and had as good a time as I did.

I Need Me Some

Minions like these.

Colossal Death Robot

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Hospital and Presentation

Sorry I haven't been around recently. I got a phone call from my brother last week. He informed me that our dad had been admitted to the hospital (out in Montana where my parents live). He's been released and is home as of yesterday afternoon, but it really brought some emotional stuff home to roost that I refuse to deal with.

It also laid out some practical matters that I'd been ruminating about ever since my parents moved out there. How am I going to be there for them when they're even older and possibly in and out of the hospital more from 2,000 miles away? It had been a worry in theory for some time now, but with this episode, I've got some planning to do.

So suffice it to say, my brain has been elsewhere for the better part of a week. But I can't ignore the presentation that I will be giving on Saturday to the Valley Forge Romance Writers chapter. Here's the blurb.

Inserting Realism into Kick Butt Heroines:
A Look at Basic Female Fighting Styles and Self Defense

Lots of heroines in novels today don’t need a man to fight their battles. They can do it themselves. But how? Former self-defense instructor, Ava Quinn, will discuss and (when possible) demonstrate the basic martial arts elements of body position and strikes, basic self-defense techniques, and the differences between and the pros and cons of male versus female fighting styles. She will also touch on how this training can affect characters and offer tips on how to incorporate these ideas into your story.

I'm looking forward to doing it, which is a far cry from the last time I presented it. I'm calmer for some reason this time around. Maybe it's because I got my annual haircut last week just for the occasion. Can you tell I really want this to go well?

I've tweaked the presentation some and added more on the writing element to it this time. We'll see how it goes.

Until next time, citizens!

Wake Up Call

Nothing gets the blood pumping in the morning better than finding a huge bug perched on your toothbrush. No caffeine necessary this morning.

Rocket Ship Underwear

I love the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. It was inspired; creative, with a combination of great illustrations and wonderful writing. I remember this one where Calvin is flexing his little arms in front of a mirror wearing just underwear and his "I'm going to take on the world and win" grin. And he says something like, there's nothing like rocket ship underwear to make you feel invincible.

I have my version of rocket ship underwear on today. It's my new Chef Wong's tee shirt. Chef Wong's is a great Chinese restaurant in the area. The family ate there one fall day, and they had these shirts for sale. The Man's back was to them, but I kept pestering him to look at them. The exchange went a little something like this.

Me - Check out that tee shirt. It's so cool!
Him - I will in a minute.
Me - But it's awesome. You have to check it out.
Him - I will in a minute.
Me - Seriously. It's the coolest ever. You have to look at it.
Him - Can I eat some General Tso's first?
Me - I guess. But you're looking after two bites

So the Man, smart man that he is, got the impression that I fancied the shirt. He got one for me for Christmas. He used it to wrap two dvds. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Hero, so it was a total Kung Fu Christmas theme going on with that part of the gift.

We pause here for Ava's benefit since she can't say Kung Fu without hearing this in her head:



Okay. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

So I'm wearing the Chef Wong shirt today. It's short sleeved, so I had to wait for nice weather to put it on. And let me tell you I put it on. Along with the whole rocket ship underwear attitude. Not even finding dog crap in my living room- that the offending dog stepped in and subsequently tracked around- could dampen my spirits. Now that is one magic tee shirt.



So I do have a bit of a tee shirt obsession. I'm currently waiting for just the right moment to bust out the Will Farrell "More Cow Bell" shirt for the season.



That's a tricky one. You have to know when the right unveiling time is for the warm weather. You don't want to do it too early and have to cover it with a sweatshirt. I must proceed with caution on that one since it's too awesome to cover.

So, do you have any healthy obsessions? Any talismans that act like rocket ship underwear? Lay it on me!

Thanks Easter Bunny

BAWK!! BAWK!!!