Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Merits of the Mullet

So, yeah. Things are pretty much chaos at Casa de Quinn (or chez Quinn for all my legions of loyal but silent French Canadian lurkers). Nothing life threatening, just taking a major beat down by some masked freak in spandex, jumping off the top rope wielding a metal folding chair. You know, normal chaos.

So it's got me to thinking, which with me, you never know where the hell this will go. Usually nowhere good. And here are the fruits of my ruminations - The Merits of the Mullet.

I have now determined that there are some nice benefits to be reaped by sporting a mullet. You don't even have to really get it done. They sell mullet wigs now. All you'd have to do is show up in public with one of these bad boys nailed to your noggin.

Righteous, huh?

So here, in no particular order are the merits and virtues of the mullet as I see them.

1. No one expects anything from you.
2. You can get away with any degree of laziness.
3. You are not expected to be a productive member of society.
4. Any number of carny jobs are yours for the taking. (and really, do I need to enumerate the endless amounts of perks that go along with carny work? I didn't think so.)
5. You can wear the same clothes for days and no one will look twice at you.
6. "All business up front. Party in the back."

7. You can write nothing for over a month and no one looks at you twice.
8. No one believes that a mullet wearer can actually write at all.
9. It's completely assumed that your greatest accomplishment is clearing the lint from your navel.
10. Mullet equals magnificence.

You didn't think I could come up with ten, did you? Yeah, I know. Some of those merits seem almost the same, but hey, what did you expect? I have a mullet. (You just can't see it under the pointy hat.)


Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

But MacGyver pulled it off in his early years with such ... dashing boyish and yes, intellectual.

M.J. Fifield said...

Well, after reading your list of mullet merits, I am totally convinced. I am looking forward to being a sanctioned unproductive member of society.

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

I can't do it. Sorry, it's too much. But you make me laugh and laugh! *hugs you*

Victoria said...

Totally getting a mullet now! Then no one will look twice at me when they find out I haven't been writing much at all.
Maybe I'll get it before the meeting tomorrow. That would be sweet!
And I agree, MacGyver had a pretty awesome mullet.
So did my husband. LOL

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

Mine had one, too, but I would never be able to call it awesome. LOL

Victoria said...

B's was permed in the back. It went well with his full beard and flannel shirt! I'll find a picture!
Okay, so it was awesome at the time.
I like him better bald! lol

Ava Quinn said...

Hmmm. Bald or a mullet. A permed mullet no less. Yeah, I think I'd choose bald as better too.

Ava Quinn said...

Yes, I think MacGyver was the only human alive to at least partially pull off the mullet. It had nothing to do with the fact that he could explode anyone who busted on him for it with a toothpick, some Draino and a pine tree air freshner.

Ava Quinn said...

Park your trailer next to mine, crack open a forty and start livin' the dream, Melissa and V!

Mullet wearers - UNITE!

Share This

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...