Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Stinkbugs In The Sewer

So I was thinking. One of my more dangerous past times, I know. And had a terrifying epiphany of sorts.

As I gingerly carried yet another tissue enshrouded stinkbug to its watery grave via the toilet, it hit me. This has to be the primary way most people dispose of stinkbugs. You can't squash them, or you'll be engulfed in an unholy smell that may just be a sentient being in its own right. So you capture them and flush them alive.

Down to the sewer.

This practice may have unwittingly created a situation rife with apocalyptic potentiality.

*cue echoing effect and scary dant dant daaaaaa music*

Yes, stinkbugs in the sewer. Not unlike alligators in the sewer.

Except stinkbugs are swarmers. My brain keeps terrifying me with images of crazed mutant stinkbugs hopped up on toxic sewer gasses, rampaging across cities in devouring hordes - scarab beetle style a la The Mummy.

But I can't come up with a different disposal system. What shall we do? How can we stop adding more numbers to their growing sewer army without unleashing a scent clearly from the bowels of Hell?

I'm stumped. The comments are open for your suggestions.


Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Slow boat to China? Rocket to the deep freeze of space? Rocket the burning hell of the sun?
I keep thinking about the fact I have a septic system. Could they explode out of the ground, find their way back through the pipes spewing out of the bath tub drain, into the kitchen sink during the darkest hours of the night when all the small, crawling things come out to play.
How am I supposed to sleep tonight??? Thanks a lot.

Victoria said...

I, too, have thought of this very thing.
What if, as you sit down to relieve yourself in the middle of the night they swarm out of the toilet and...Ugh. Sorry.
I am not sure there is a "safe" way to dispose of them...And what if you're marked after you flush one? They do a little breeding, gather their friends, and you're toast...
I have never doubted that they're plotting something...

Victoria said...

Zombie stink bugs...
Just sayin'

Ava Quinn said...

See? See? It's possible. I'm not the only one who's imagining it.

Man, Sue. Septic. There's no getting rid of those babies now. At least on public sewer they leave the property. I'll pray for you.

Ava Quinn said...

Gross, V! Now I'll never sleep again!
Especially knowing that I'm marked.

Did you ever see Stephen King's Creepshow? There's one with cockroaches, and . . . ick. Just, ick.

And, yeah, zombie stinkbugs. *uncontrollable body shiver*

jason said...

do stink bugs live in the underground? I really hate it. so nasty.

Ava Quinn said...

lol! I wouldn't doubt it. They're quite wily and nefarious in nature.

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