Sunday, December 11, 2011

Open Letters to the Craziness at Chez Quinn

Dear Possessed and Dying Toy That I Can't Find,

Stop playing your death knell every time I come in to the dark living room at six thirty in the morning to turn on the light and scaring the bejeezus out of me. Your warbling is freaking me out. Either show yourself so I can put you out of your misery or JUST DIE ALREADY!!

Sincerely Yours,

Dear Feral Cat,

Quit storming the damn house! I will not let you in no matter how many times you try to dart inside. I'm not a cat person and you're making my limping fifteen year old dog insecure since she can't run you off. Keep your mangy ass out of my house!

Yours Truly,

Dear Youngest Urchin,

Stop asking me what something means and then halfway through my explanation try and drown me out with I knows. I understand you're only four, but it's driving me crazy.

I love you! xoxo

Dear Upstairs Toilet,

Will you just do your damn job and flush consistently already? You're driving me bat-shit-crazy with the plunging every damn day! Just frickin' flush right!

Yours Respectfully,

Ahhhhh, now that I have that out of my system I can tell you what I really came here to tell you. My Reign as the County 'Possum Queen has come to an end. Sorry if that announcement was too abrupt. Maybe I should have eased you into it a little, but, alas, I'm one of those rip-the-band-aid-off-and-deal-with-it kind of people.

Anyway, it happened early last month, but it's been a little too hard to talk about until now. I will give you the entire run-down of that sad day later this week to give you time to adjust to the news.

Until then, tell me what craziness you'd like to address with an open letter.


Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I'm not able to put my frustrations into an open letter right now. I'm letting it all boil inside, will explode later.
Aren't those 4's a great time.

M.J. Fifield said...

So sad to hear that your 'Possum Queen reign has ended.

I'm also sorry about the general craziness at Chez Quinn but your open letters were really quite amusing.

Pearl said...

Ah! Some people, well past the age of 4, never get beyond the "I know, I know" stage. I work with one. :-)

Nice list! Over from Yandie's...


Ava Quinn said...

Hope you're explosion isn't too chunky and gross, Sue. That makes for extra clean up.

Yes, I'm loving the 4s with this one.

I hope your Smashwords and other frustrations smooth out soon!

Ava Quinn said...

Yes, M., My 'Possum Queening was a year long commitment, and now it's come to its end. Very sad.

The craziness never dies here. It just morphs. Like The Thing. Only with fewer tentacles.

Ava Quinn said...

Thanks for popping in, Pearl. And you have my sympathies on working with an I knower. Apparently 4 is forever in some people.

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