Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hello, Satan?

"Hello, Satan? Yes, I'd like to book a table?"

"At the moment, for one, but you may want to keep a few chairs handy, I think I might be joined by some friends."

"Yeah. Ok. I'd like it to be in the non-smoking section, please."

"Oh. There isn't a non-smoking section. Alright. Hmmm. Could it be in a quiet, corner? Maybe something a little intimate and cozy?"

"Yes, as far away from the screaming and fiery pits as possible would be nice. Thanks."

"Okay. See you then!"

Yes the Jehovah's Witnesses were back. Don't worry. I dispatched them quickly. No, not under the loose boards of my porch.

The sad thing is, I don't think I've seen the last of her. I'm getting the feeling she's attached herself like a pit bull to my ass. Like I'm some pet project of hers. I'll fix her. Even if I have to turn the hose on her.

Damn, I wish I had those flying monkeys.


Victoria said...

Just put a sign on your door that says "No Religious Solicitation. This means you Jehovah's Witnesses".
When we lived way back in the sticks they were like flies - pesky flies that wouldn't stop landing on your face.

WV - baties - fan girls of Norman Bates.

Susan Kelley said...

Does her determination mean she sees something worth saving or something so evil it must be stopped? LOL

Ava Quinn said...

LOL, Vicki! Great description with the flies.

Great WV too.

Ava Quinn said...

I think she senses the evil. I bet she comes with whatever the JW equivalent of holy water is to try and roust it out of me. hee hee hee. She will not win.

Haleine said...

The JWs came to my house once. There they met my 130 pound German Shepherd and decided that Dog was truly my co-pilot. He's really all bark but I have to admit I didn't do anything to discourage their fear.

Ava Quinn said...

Hee hee hee! Dog was my co-pilot. That's hilarious Haleine. I love German Shepherds.

My own "hounds of hell" are border collies. Though it'd be funny if they were chihuahuas or something like that trying to run off the JW's.

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