Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Unbelievable

So I'm at home on this rainy Tuesday, feeling sick. (Big frickin' surprise, I've been sick since the beginning of March.) And there's a tentative knock on my only-used-by-strangers front door that is semi blocked by crap and only opens half-way. The dogs go ballistic, and I get ready for the inevitable.

Yes. It's the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Now, I'm usually a polite person. They're following their doctrine, and I can respect that. But when the person you're trying to convert is hacking all over you and not inviting you in and trying politely to let you know that they're not interested and holding back the hounds of hell so they don't tear your throat out and is not feeling well, STFU and leave them be.

Now not only do they not shut up, and I can't shut the door because then one of my dogs would get cut in half, but they wrap up their spiel trying to elicit a promise from me that I'll read over their pamphlet and talk to them about it when I'm done.

What?

Don't come to my house and assign me frickin' homework! WTH?! Do you think you're going to administer a pop quiz when you get back? The woman actually said, "I want you to promise me that you'll read over this literature so when we come back we can discuss it."

Lady, are you fucking nuts? If you do come back, I don't care about the busy road in front of my house, I'm releasing the hounds. Do you really think I want to discuss anything with a person so driven by doctrine that you have no common sense or courtesy for the sick? Do you really think I want to choose my faith from a door to door salesman? Do you really believe that because I'm a polite person and didn't back you off my property with a gun in your face that I'm going to invite you in for a coffee clatch about your propoganda rag?

Suffice it to say, nice ended and snarky stepped up. I replied, "If you do come back, you'd better bring some different wares to sell because I ain't buying what you're shilling now." And shut the door.

Yeah, I'm going to Hell, but I knew that way before they hit my front porch.

4 comments:

Susan Kelley said...

I never take their papers and refuse to speack with them. I try not to be rude, they are uninvited guests. Hope you feel better soon.

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

Homework. *snort*

They'll never come back, I guarantee. :)

Ava Quinn said...

Glad I'm not the only one who finds their come-on unwanted. I'm usually not so vehement on the blog, but when someone's obviously sick, don't keep going on and on exposing them to the cold and rain.

Thanks for the well wishes. I'm sure you're as sick of giving them to me as I am of receiving them. I just want to be well, dammit! lol!

Ava Quinn said...

I usually don't mind them coming too much, Natalie, but if that lady ever comes back I'll have her quaking in her comfortable shoes before she can even say boo!

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