As the county's reigning 'Possum Queen for the Pot Bellied Processed 'Possum Products Company (tm), it was pointed out to me in the fine print of my contract that I should be endorsing, not only the company's fine product line of canned 'possum delights, but doing my "darned-tootinest" to further the best image of 'possum and 'possum related products.
So to that end, I offer my 'possummy endorsement of the following 'possum products and organization.
First and foremost, there's The Opossum Society of the United States. Though they focus more on keeping opossums alive instead of ingesting them.
You can also show your support by wearing your opossum on your sleeve, or wherever else you may want to.
Girls, let the world (or at least your trailer park) know of your 'possum pride. Announce your love of all things 'possum across your chest.
Guys, let the neighbors know just what you're grilling on the back porch.
Don't forget the special sauce!
For that touch of class, gents, you can always import your possum for that distinguished look to let your redneck town know you're a cut above the rest.
And ladies, for the ever discerning gal who endeavors to be her trailer park's trend setter, may I suggest 'possum nipple warmers? You'll be the envy of your trailerhood.
I know not much can follow that major statement of female 'possum fashion, but not to be outdone, men, you can even get a 'Possum Fur Willie Warmer. Apparently in several different sizes and colors.
So there you have it, folks. Your very own picture pile of 'possummy products. Let me know which are your favorites! I just can't decide.
From the pit (of despair)
16 hours ago