Because the teeny tiny OCD part of me couldn't leave the list from the other day incomplete, here are two more things about me.
9. When I was sixteen, I worked in a Fotomat booth, and yes I looked at all the pictures. What else is there to do in a Fotomat booth?
10. I also worked as a sales associate in a Fredericks of Hollywood store at a large mall when I was nineteen. Back then they were a bit trashy in what they sold. I specifically remember a novelty pair of men's silky underwear called the peacock. Yes it was in the form of a peacock - neck and head housed what you think; feathers on the butt completed the look. There was one shaped like an elephant too. At the end of the trunk (yes that's where it went) there was a push button sound-making-thing that would trumpet like a real elephant. Classy!
Of those two jobs, the Fotomat booth tuned out to be scarier. One day, sitting there, minding my own business, (ok, I was looking at pictures) two men in an old Monte Carlo started circling the booth and yelling suggestive things at me from their open car windows. Freaked me the hell out. I couldn't get out to get away because they were there circling at a high rate of speed. I almost called the police, though this was pre 911 days. Plus I figured they'd be gone by the time the police came anyway.
The worst thing that would happen at Fredericks would be the guys who would ask me if I would model the lingerie. (I was in very good shape back then.) Or on a dare ask me embarrassing questions about the edible underwear.
I remember this guy who came in one day. He was missing teeth and was very scruffy. Behind him was a silent equally unkempt woman holding the hands of two little urchins with eyes the size of dinner plates. They looked quite out of place with all the feathers, fur and silk. He walked straight up to me with a dog-eared, well worn Fredericks catalog clutched in his hand, and asks, "Do you guys have this?" He flashes me a creased and (dare I say?) stained page featuring all the cupless/peek-a-boo lingerie.
Now you have to imagine. The woman with him was pretty squat. The couple reminded me of a Deliverance version of Jack Sprat and his wife. There's no way she's fitting into any of it, and just visualizing anything involving them and lingerie made me want to poke sticks through my ear canal to my brain and scrape the images out. So I spewed out the company line that we didn't stock anything in the store that they could get in the catalog and backed away quickly.
Ahh. Good times.
So there you have it. Two more things about me. And don't they explain a lot? Anywho. Any interesting summer jobs you'd like to share? You know you want to!
GOODBYE RED WALL (you're outta here)
6 hours ago