Just One More Service I Offer

In case you need to translate pirate speech, or otherwise learn to speak pirate in a jiffy, I've searched out a site to assist you. Because, you never know when you may need to speak or understand Pirate.

Pirate Translation Blog

You're welcome.

Now My Secret Imaginary Boyfriend Is Trying To Kill Me

Some of you may remember that I have a crush on the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Well I've now had this song of his stuck in my head for several days.



This one might actually do me in. But what do you expect from an evil fiend bent on taking over the tri-state area?

The Man and I celebrated our anniversary last Friday. Sixteen years now he's put up with my shenanigans. We decided to go with the theme that has been most prevalent at Chez Quinn over the past year (Hell, it could be the theme of our entire marriage) and took the Urchins to the circus as a celebration. It was quite fitting.

A good time was had by all. We go every year, and every year I leave saying the same thing. I really need to write a romance series about circus performers. I know the title up there says Tongue In Cheek, but I'm actually serious this time. A small circus where most of the drama doesn't happen in the tent. Like this.



I want to write about real circus. Intense, do-or-die struggles with momentary glimpses of euphoria. Grinding, sweat-covered, bone-jarring nights covered in a high gloss. The circus and all that goes with it.

Some day I will.

Mii Music Is Slowly Killing Me

So, the Urchins love to make Miis. If you're not familiar with them, they are little characters on Wii that can be players in some of the games. The girls have made over fifty of them. They love it. Go figure.

I don't mind it too much. It allows me ten or fifteen minutes of peace while they make one or two, and I can be in another room getting something done. But the music . . .  It's killing me.

I usually don't register it right away (or I'd remember to have them turn the volume off). But it's insidious. Some time later, it strikes. It begins replaying in my head, and I can't get it out.



Soon, it takes over my brain like that thing Khan put in Chekov's ear.



And then things start to get a little hazy. I'm not always sure what happens next, but I fear it triggers some sort of Jekyll and Hyde type phenomenon in me.



So lock up your axes, Citizens. You never know when I might get loose!

Music Reccomendation

I highly recommend Janelle Monae's song Tightrope. I defy you not to groove to this track.

Enjoy!



Got any song rec's for me? Lay them on me in the comments, people!

Mutton Chops- A Closer Study of Side Burn Art

Today we take a closer look at a very popular expression of male facial hair as we delve into the mutton chop. This in depth analysis of one of the many different categories of male facial hair builds on my previous homage to the art of the sideburn.

Mutton chops are long, sometimes bushy, sideburns that reach either the jawline or connect to a mustache. They can be trimmed and stylized in any number of ways. As such.

pic from brooklyndaily.com

It has been my experience that if a man has mutton chops, there are only four occupations he is able to hold.

1. Elvis impersonator.

Elvis did right by the mutton chop in the seventies.

 And the impersonators know it. Have a look.

pic from lasvegassun.com

2. Lumberjack
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay . . . with my mutton chops.

Motorcycle gang member
But let it be known that a mutton chop wearing member cannot rise in the hierarchy above the level of "thug". Leaders must make special facial hair concessions and have either a ZZ Top beard or a Fu Manchu mustache.

4. Horror film hillbilly extra #6

 One through five being taken by other men with bushy beards or very scraggly mustaches.

So that's it on the mutton chop except to declare them magnificent. (Just like the mullet) And to prove my point, I leave you with this.

Nothing but mutton chops, baby!

Which career path would you choose if mutton chops adorned your mug?

I Detest Springing Forward

Especially when I've been up every night with puking children and need all the extra hours of sleep I can get!

I Was Patient Zero

Which makes the youngest Urchin Patient One. Yes, the flu hit her at around two this morning, and I got to relive it in all its technicolor and Smell-O-Rama (patent pending) glory.

Considering I'm not yet off toast and ginger ale, this could be a very long couple of weeks as Patients Two and Three succumb. The inevitability of two more cases is thick in the air, along with the scent of Lysol and some other unsavory odors.

I was really hoping this late in the flu season that it would bypass us. Especially considering we'd all gotten flu shots. Though, I know those are only for one strain. Now I'm left to explain to the disgruntled five year old why she went through the trauma of a flu shot and ended up getting the flu anyway.  And that girl can hold a grudge like nobody's business.

Here's hoping I survive.

The Flu

Or food poisoning. Either way, it sucks. Hope you all are faring better than I am.