Girls Night In at Chez Quinn

The Man, God love him, works full time teaching and part time on the camera crew for the local AHL (hockey) team.Which means he works for them on weekends.

Which means the Urchins and I get to do special Mommy girly things. Now if you've been around here for a while, you know several things. A) I'm not right in the head. 2) I'm not very girly (I get a haircut once a year and ride a motorcycle for crying out loud.) III) I work hard to not be my demographic. I run around yelling SKEW! SKEW! wherever I go. It's my goal in life to be that one outlying statistic that throws off everyone's data.

So it will come as no surprise that Girls Night In was quite different than what poor unsuspecting people who stumble upon this blog might think. But as we all know, Tongue in Cheek is not for the faint of heart or the uninitiated.

To the question, "What do you want to do for girls night in?" I receive the instantaneous and deafening duet of "STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!" (yes, it needs that many exclamation marks to really get across the decibel level that was reached.)

And so it was that after an all-Urchin request dinner of peanut butter sandwiches on potato rolls and new England clam chowder. Washed down with peanut brittle and fruit leather. (I abstained from the fruit leather.) We snoogled up on the couch under copious blankets with each other and our stuffed animal of choice and watched the original Star Wars.

The oldest Urchin, who is eight, watches in enraptured and reverent silence for the duration. With only a few words of praise for the cleverness of Princess Leia and the dreaminess of Luke Skywalker.

The youngest Urchin, however, cannot last more than a minute without asking something. It's mainly, "What did R2D2 just say?" Or the closely related, "What did Chewbacca just say?" To which after 100 askings I replied, "He said, 'tell the Youngest Urchin to be quiet.'" Which elicits some very Chewbacca like noises and a brandished fist from the five year old.

But a good time was had by all. And the next morning, I initiated them into the wonderful world of Mark Hamill on The Muppet Show.



I thought the oldest Urchin was going to keel over from laughing so hard. A girl after my own heart.

I have to admit, I am of an age where I saw the original Star Wars and this episode of the Muppet Show when they came out. And they made a big impression on me. But now, hands down, my favorite viewings of these were this past weekend.

So what are your fondest Star Wars memories?

T.i.C. 2012 in Review- Finally

So have you noticed that I haven't been very keen on reviewing last year? The hostile polka takeover notwithstanding, it was one of the hardest years of my life. I'm trying to change my perception of it and look on the bright side. My oldest daughter and my father DIDN'T die in the same week. And I had a whole extra year with my beloved dog. But I'm not quite there yet. So let's do this thing.

Here is a truncated version of what went on at Tongue in Cheek during 2012.

January
I handed over my taxidermied 'Possum Queen crown to the 2012 winner. I extolled the virtues of the band OK Go. And I gave the 2011 wrap up. Also late. Hmm, I'm seeing a trend.

February
In February, the first rumblings of discontent in the Eastern European Polka community reached my trailerhood. I got an awesome Valentine's Day present from The Man. I ruminated on the different search items that got you to me (including possum ninja and big belly overalls.). And I had my annual Groundhog Day freakout.

March
The Polka terrorists took over Tongue in Cheek. (I advise against watching the clip. I'd hate to be responsible for what happens.) I was able to get a message out to my loyal readers that the Polka Mafia was going down. The Polka Empire struck back. But the gnomes and rednecks were victorious in the end. Though not without some casualties.

April
The party celebrating the definitive victory over the lederhosen wearing enemy went on for days. I finally had to boot out the squatters. Then since you, gentle readers, were exposed to large doses of polka due to the takeover, I felt it my duty to stage a group polka intervention. I then obsessed about my writing.

May
In May I went to the local roller derby to watch a bout. It was awesome. My BFF went mad, demanding that we would be going mechanical bull riding. Then my father had a heart attack. And then just a few days later my oldest had an emergency appendectomy that became very complicated.

June
Got the oldest Urchin home and repaid all your kind words with reruns for the rest of the month. Sorry about that, but things were a bit busy with recovery efforts.

July
The oldest Urchin had a six week recovery time, plus easing back into things slowly after that, so July is also a bit sparse. Though, of course the sea monkeys, who always fight dirty, made a territory grab that month. They expanded their terrain from the upstairs bathtub to the fish tank. They are still continuing their efforts to control the freakishly large carny goldfish living there.

August
August brought a real grab bag of musings. I postulated on Sea Monkeys and carny food as I prepared for the fair in the back yard. I went to the roller derby again. And I harkened back to my old boy bands of yore. Menudo anyone?

September
September brought more roller derby, vigilante knitters, and more Sea Monkeys. Among other things.

October
In October, I showed signs of getting old, my mother came to visit, spurring a new hobby interest that involves roadkill, and I wished you a happy Halloween Ray Harryhousen style.

November
Author Delynn Royer stopped by and answered the standard interview questions here at Tongue in Cheek. She scored well on the Sea Monkey S.A.T. portion. I shared some music from modern blues singer, Seasick Steve and bemoaned the evilness of voice mail. I supported some local authors (Natalie Damschroder and Megan Hart) at their book signing. And strange things were heard from the back of the minivan.

December
I lost the best dog I'd ever known to cancer and I turned into a chrysalis. Again.

So there it is in all its nut shell glory. A brief recap of 2012 here at Tongue in Cheek. I hope last year treated you better than it did me.

Here's to a happy, healthy 2013 for all!

Bratz-Precursors to the Alien Takeover

It has long been my belief that Bratz were invented to smooth the way for a hostile alien invasion. Their rise in popularity will make the masses much more accepting of their new alien overlords.

Check out the similarities in their physical features.

Pic from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bratz

Note both possess the abnormally large slanted eyes. The lack of a definitive nose. The tiny body with huge head. Glam up this green one and you'd have a ringer. Wait, they already did that!

pic from the bestdolldress

So now they are beginning the subjugation of the younger generation through savvy toy marketing. You can tell they've done their homework. They know us well.

I of course, envision something like this happening in the very near future.

And have already begun programming my own urchins against the indoctrination of alien space invaders. Every time they see a Bratz or their equally evil counterparts from monster high, they immediately say things like, "Eeeew, Mommy. Look! They're so ugly!"

And it makes my heart glow with paternal pride that I have given them the rudimentary defense against the impending alien invasion.

Up soon, the Tongue in Cheek 2012 year in review post. Until then, Citizens!

Merry Christmas!

I really wanted to be posting the 2012 TiC year in review, because I can't get rid of this crappy year fast enough, but I realize it's still a bit early for that.

So in honor of the holiday, I offer you this. (Just ignore the commercial at the end.)



And if your tendencies lean even further into the ridiculous-like mine- you'll appreciate this one.



Have a peaceful and joyous holiday!

Remember When

I Felt Like This? Well, I'm feeling that way again. So hide the Ho Hos and tomato juice before I start exuding chrysalis building viscous secretions from my pores.

It should be an interesting weekend.

R.I.P Sox

Last night we had to put our wonderful dog, Sox to sleep. She'd been ailing for a long time, but she had a seizure, which I think resembled a stroke. I gently held her through it, but when she came through it, she was terrified and panicked. She was blind and had lost the stability of her back legs. She went from panic and crying, (which she never cried) to passing out cold.  And it ripped my heart to shreds.

We had her for almost fifteen years. And she was that dog. You know the one. The one who was faithful to the bone, protective and loving. You had to earn her trust and love, but once you had it, it was yours forever. Smart and sweet and fun. The one all other dogs will never be able to ever measure up to. The best dog you've ever known.

I love you and miss you terribly, Sox.

She liked to cross her paws when she laid down.

Testify, Mr. Starr

I just gotta keep walking.

Overwhelmed

I'm dealing with a lot of shit here.

My beloved dog, whom we've had for almost fifteen years is really reaching the end now. She was diagnosed with cancer just after Christmas last year, and it's been a year of every day is a bonus, but watching her decline more and more just has been breaking my heart all year long. It's getting very close to the end now, and it's killing me.

I'm trying to list on Ebay for this holiday selling season, which takes a lot of time and energy that I don't seem to have any more of.

I'm trying to deal with all the new responsibilities of becoming the president of my writer's group. Which entail reading bylaws and policy and procedures among other things. I haven't gotten very far.

I'm trying to write more, but with the Urchins being off school for Thanksgiving for the last 11 days, nothing got written at all.

I'm on the committee with the blue haired old ladies for our township's new year's celebration. And after about thirty minutes into the meeting, I wish I could be like Sheldon Cooper when he stops a conversation because it has come full circle. But I just can't. Plus I have lots of responsibilities and footwork to do for them.

Because I'm at home, I feel obligated to volunteer in my girls' classrooms around once or twice a week.

And I just want to curl up into a ball and hide my head under a desk like the children in an atomic bomb drill from the fifties.

from apps.detnews.com

Happy Thanksgiving

Have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving everyone. I know I'm going to need a little humor to get through the holiday this year. So here's my favorite Thanksgiving scene. Enjoy and happy Thanksgiving, Citizens.

Heard From The Back of the Minivan

Oldest Urchin - Mom, if you adopt a new kid. . .

Me - WTH wrinkle between  my eyes: to self When did I start adopting kids?

O.U.- And they come to live with us. . .

The Man- Shoots me a bushy eyed "Is there something I should know?" glance that says When did you start adopting kids?

O.U. - Can they sleep in my top bunk and then I can have the green bedroom?

*Silence for about three seconds where crickets chirp*


Youngest Urchin - *Excessively indignant* I'm not sleeping with THAT kid!