Friday, January 29, 2010

Tell Me Which You Would - The Bad or the Good?

How did it get to be Friday already? I'm having trouble getting that little factoid into my brain. I finished my dreaded synopsis of Shifting Her World. Thank you for all your help Misty and Natalie! You know I've had a pretty good writing week if there aren't many posts. Anywho, check out this video. It got me to a-wonderin'.

I loved this commercial when it came out back in the day, mainly for the Van Halen. Yet it was funny, too, and G.I. Joe completely out-cooled Ken.

But here's what I wondered. The Bad Boy. Do you prefer the Bad Boy Hero or the Good Boy Hero? I'm split. I write both. I enjoy reading both if they're well rounded. But deep down I think if I was held over a pit of bubbling tar and told to choose, I would go with the good guy. But only if placed under some such duress. (Molten lava would get me to sing on this topic as well.)

So which type of hero would be your favorite as you dangle precariously over the pit? And, remember, this is for posterity, so be honest.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I Need Skills

Why can't I have cool skills like this?

My secret talent holds no true value in the real world. I couldn't even somehow work it into my supervillain plans.

So, any mad skills you want to share? They've got to be better than my secret weapon!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Okay - Two More

Because the teeny tiny OCD part of me couldn't leave the list from the other day incomplete, here are two more things about me.

9. When I was sixteen, I worked in a Fotomat booth, and yes I looked at all the pictures. What else is there to do in a Fotomat booth?

10. I also worked as a sales associate in a Fredericks of Hollywood store at a large mall when I was nineteen. Back then they were a bit trashy in what they sold. I specifically remember a novelty pair of men's silky underwear called the peacock. Yes it was in the form of a peacock - neck and head housed what you think; feathers on the butt completed the look. There was one shaped like an elephant too. At the end of the trunk (yes that's where it went) there was a push button sound-making-thing that would trumpet like a real elephant. Classy!

Of those two jobs, the Fotomat booth tuned out to be scarier. One day, sitting there, minding my own business, (ok, I was looking at pictures) two men in an old Monte Carlo started circling the booth and yelling suggestive things at me from their open car windows. Freaked me the hell out. I couldn't get out to get away because they were there circling at a high rate of speed. I almost called the police, though this was pre 911 days. Plus I figured they'd be gone by the time the police came anyway.

The worst thing that would happen at Fredericks would be the guys who would ask me if I would model the lingerie. (I was in very good shape back then.) Or on a dare ask me embarrassing questions about the edible underwear.

I remember this guy who came in one day. He was missing teeth and was very scruffy. Behind him was a silent equally unkempt woman holding the hands of two little urchins with eyes the size of dinner plates. They looked quite out of place with all the feathers, fur and silk. He walked straight up to me with a dog-eared, well worn Fredericks catalog clutched in his hand, and asks, "Do you guys have this?" He flashes me a creased and (dare I say?) stained page featuring all the cupless/peek-a-boo lingerie.

Now you have to imagine. The woman with him was pretty squat. The couple reminded me of a Deliverance version of Jack Sprat and his wife. There's no way she's fitting into any of it, and just visualizing anything involving them and lingerie made me want to poke sticks through my ear canal to my brain and scrape the images out. So I spewed out the company line that we didn't stock anything in the store that they could get in the catalog and backed away quickly.

Ahh. Good times.

So there you have it. Two more things about me. And don't they explain a lot? Anywho. Any interesting summer jobs you'd like to share? You know you want to!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lovely Blog Award

Author of great fantasy books, Susan Gourley, awarded me the One Lovely Blog award over at her blog Susan Says . Which was very nice of her, but I'm not sure if Tongue in Cheek qualifies as lovely. Remember these posts?

Sea Monkey Status
Can You Believe It?
Just Can't Be Serious Today

But that's beside the point, I guess. I am now to pass the award on to others.
And the winners are . . .

Victoria Smith who is funny and a great writer. I check out her blog almost every day.
Carla Kempert who writes from the heart with humor and honesty.

Go over and check them out. Leave a comment and tell them I sent you, they'll treat you right.

Now on to the hard part. The second half of getting the award is to tell ten things about yourself. I'm not sure I'll have ten to tell. We'll see where we end up.

1. I designed my own engagement and wedding rings.
2. I don't like coffee or tea. If I want caffeine I drink diet Pepsi with cherry.
3. I have an unhealthy obsession with sea monkeys. (though you probably already figured that out)
4. I used a rotary dial phone well into the nineties.
5. I didn't know how to do laundry when I went to college because I grew up with an antique open cylinder washer with attached wringer that would give you a good zap every time you plugged it in.
6. I had my youngest urchin in my kitchen. (no it was not planned that way)
7. I've owned three motorcycles: 2 pocket rockets and 1 cruiser.
8. I collect vintage/antique cookie jars.

That seems like more than enough about me. So since I shared, tell me something about you. Secret talents, middle names, pin numbers, you know, the usual.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dear Best Selling Author

Here's a little advice. In your bio, don't tell me that you travel to exotic international locales several times a year. It only makes me not want to give you my money. I will turn around and buy your books from an Ebay seller who, I'm sure, needs the money more than you do. Just sayin'.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My Evil Plans Are Taking Shape

So I haven't been around in the internets for a while. I've been up to no good, of course. Most recently I've been studying up over at ISS (International Society of Supervillains). Taking the evil ranking quiz, checking out the faq, designing and discarding different costuming ideas. You know, the usual.

You may ask what brought on such drastic and evil preparations, but there's no one concrete event. I'm just getting ready for the distribution of my wrath when I reach the very edge and am thrust over into the boiling chasm of evil. It's always good policy to be prepared.

I'm attempting to convert the sea monkeys to my will. Many, I know, would mock the seemingly wuss-like reputation of the sea monkeys. Only I understand the full range of their power. Only I understand their determination. Only I understand their need to spread their slimy society like a virus until it covers the Earth! Soon I will be their mistress, and they will deliver my wrath! Bwa haa haa haaaaacoughcoughcough!

Uh. whoops. Heh, heh. Did I blog that out loud? Never mind. Condition normal. All is well. Back to the grind!

Friday, January 8, 2010

She's Back!

I worked the twelve step program and my system is now Wii free. I've hung up my zombie killing gun and mothballed my bowling shirt. I'm motivated and will be trying hard to move forward on Shifting Her World. I've got some new ideas for the opening, (thanks Misty!) and a plan of action for the rest.

I'm also motivated to take down the Christmas tree. Though maybe not too motivated. Everything has to get lugged back up to the attic and the first step to the attic is missing. Literally. I took a spill bringing stuff down last month and am a little wary now. Since I've reached this age, it takes a bit longer to heal. I try not to think about that when I ride my motorcycle.

So we'll see how long I can ride this wave of motivation. I might be able to ride it all the way to the complete annihilation of the sea monkeys still residing in my bath tub. Nah. I don't think there's a motivation wave that big. It'd have to be the Big Kahuna of all tsunamis for that.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Zombies Ate My Neighbors

Ok, so I haven't posted in a while and it's the damn Wii's fault. The Man downloaded a vintage game, and I'm addicted. My pink and black bowling shirt is getting dusty as I kill zombies with a squirt gun filled with holy water. Check it out.

And the music's fantastic!

I used to love Clay Fighter. I was always Blue Suede Goo. When he won, he'd give the Elvis, "Thank you. Ah, thank you verrah much." His big move was a pompadour bitch slap. Highly amusing and totally effective.

So I'm replaying my misspent early twenties to mispend my present. Productivity is at a screeching halt. But damn, I'm saving a butt load of neighbors!

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