Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving 'Possum Leftovers

I hope your Thanksgiving celebrations with your family were wonderful. I spent most of my holiday practicing my royal wave. Being the county 'Possum Queen has many duties, one of which is to get the royal wave just right. I'm having a little trouble, though. From what I can glean from the townies, it's more like a glorified armpit scratch than an actual wave.

So how did the roast opossum recipe work out for you all? I'm sure it went fast. But just in case you have leftovers, here are some ideas you can make with "The Third White Meat, Sorta".

Possum Casserole
Possum Nuclear Chili - scroll down, it's the last 'possum recipe on the page.
Possum and Taters

Now that I've done my "darned-tootinest" to further the positive reputation of eatin' 'possum, I can turn my thoughts to other things. Things such as how I haven't written a word in about a week. Chez Quinn has been busier than usual. The Urchins have eleven days off for Thanksgiving. Yes. ELEVEN. So now I'm in full time mommy mode with no chance of parole. I don't even get a lowjack to wear so I can get out on work release. I'm doing hard time here!

But it's given me a chance to think about giving up on my writing. Something I find myself contemplating often. I've come up with so many reasons to quit. Some good, some not.

But here's the thing. All the time I haven't written and been crazy busy with the Urchins and in-laws invading my house and my newly appointed 'Possum Queen duties and all that goes with it, I am still thinking about my stories. In the back of my mind, they're stewing.

So I guess if they don't give up on me, I'm not ready to give up on them. Here's hoping I find some time to get back into the writing groove. And I hope you all get time to do what you like to do as well.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Tree Knitting? Seriously?

I have never seen a clearer need for someone to get laid.

Why don't they just post a sign in the front yard stating
Knitter In Desperate Need of Sex
Inquire Within

Friday, November 19, 2010

James Brown Translated For Minors

As we drove home listening to Funky Friday on WXPN Philadelphia, James Brown came on. The following conversation ensued.

Oldest Urchin (6 y.o.) - Mommy, what's a sex machine?
Me - That's not what he's singing, honey. He's saying fax machine.
O.U. - *long pause*
Me - *sweating profusely and averting all eye contact in the darkened interior of the front seat*
O.U. - Oh. Ok.
My profuse relief was interrupted as The Man leans over and sniffs the air around me.
T.M. - I think I smell burning pants.
Me - *through clenched teeth* Lying is a perfectly acceptable tool in the parental arsenal when emergencies, such as the one that was just averted, arise.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Tweaks That Change Everything

I need to make some changes to Brass In Pocket to make a more compelling first chapter. But I'm not doing them. I know how it needs to go, but these minor tweaks will change the tone of my two main characters. They won't be as dark, or as emotionally disparaged if I do it. And I don't know how I feel about that.

I've been toying with the changes in my head for about two weeks. And I don't like where the feel of the story ends up. With these few changes to the first chapter, the domino effect wreaks havoc along the storyline. So I'm at a standstill.

Maybe I'm being too rigid. Maybe lightening up the tone of the story will make it better. Maybe I just need to copy the whole story into a new document and try out the changes and see where they lead.

Have you ever had this problem where changes you need to make affect the whole story? Or is it just me?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Roast Opposum Recipe

One of my new 'Possum Queen duties is to forward the best image of eating opossum as I can. Yes it truly is "The Third White Meat, Sorta". So with that goal in mind, I've found a traditional roast opossum recipe from to share with all my legions of followers. Anything in parentheses are my own thoughts.


1 opossum, skinned and cleaned (really, really cleaned - like bust out the Draino cleaned)
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
1 onion, chopped
1 tsp. fat
1 opossum liver, chopped (yes, you save it and put it aside after the Draino bath)
1 c. bread crumbs
1/4 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 hard cooked egg, chopped
4 strips bacon (because everything's better with bacon)

Rub opossum with salt and pepper (yes, rub it).
Brown onion in fat, add opossum liver and cook until tender (and we all know how long to cook an opossum liver until it's tender, right?).
Add bread crumbs, Worcestershire sauce, egg, seasonings, and water to moisten.
Stuff opossum cavity with the mixture and truss (yes, cavity - shove it in there and then sew it up).
Place in pan belly down (because belly up would be uncouth).
Put bacon strips across back (adding that extra touch of class).
Add 1 quart water to pan.
Roast uncovered at 350 degrees until tender (again, we all know how tender an opossum can become, right?), basting every 15 minutes.
It will be done in about 2 1/2 hours. Serves 2-4.

So there it is. Your very own roast opossum recipe. Just in time for Thanksgiving.

Brace yourself for more 'possum yummy goodness in future posts. That's all for now. Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

As The New Reigning 'Possum Queen . . .

I would like to make my first official comments to the world. First of all, I'd like to thank the community who attended the Moonshine and Fried Possum Carnival for all your heartfelt, yet odoriferous votes. As I stood on the Pot Bellied 'Possum stage with the other contestants, waiting for last year's queen to place her hand above my head so you all could belch your approval, tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. To be the recipient of the loudest belches from the crowd and thereby earning the crown was an experience I will never forget.

Then, to have the Pot Bellied Pooh Bah in his possum fur covered fez lead you all in the 'Possum Salute as I took my first walk wearing the Possum crown across the dais, well, there just aren't words. The silent mock death salute with raised hands curled, eyes rolled back and tongues hanging in the breeze- it's just too much to take.

And the crown! The taxidermist that created it with the mama possum saluting at the front and all her babies doing the salute perched on her back as they peek around her? It's just breath taking. And I've never seen rhinestones used in such a unique way before. I'll wear it to all my Pot Bellied 'Possum functions knowing that every 'Possum Queen before me wore it with pride.

Now for the naysayers out there. You know who you are (Berthalynn and Elmeretta). I did not win because I was the only contestant with all her teeth. I'll have you know that I also shave my armpits and have mastered the mysteries of the bathtub. So back off!

As for my duties as this year's reigning 'Possum Queen. I swore the oath to do my darned tootin-est to represent the entire line of canned Pot Bellied Processed 'Possum Products to the best of my ability. From Creamed 'Possum to 'Possum Roadkill Stew. From hash to grits and all affiliated gravies and desserts in between. I will do it with possum pride in my heart. Thank you for voting me your new 'Possum Queen. I salute you!

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