This Isn't A Post

Really. Go to the previous post. Or click on the topic appropriate re-runs below. This is just a post about how I'm going to post soon.

I'm home from vacation. The back yard carnival is over, and Oldest Urchin's birthday is coming up. Which means, not only am I getting around to your blogs again, Tongue In Cheek will be chock full of epic craziness soon.

But for now, you can enjoy an epic craziness post from last summer's vacation to tide you over involving dueling banjos and a crazed muumuu search.

And new posts will be coming soon. (You've been warned.)

I'm Scared I Might Grow A Chrysalis

And I can't figure it out. I want to watch Hee Haw re-runs and eat lemon Jello. I want to wear my Slayer concert tee shirt with fuzzy bunny slippers. I want to eat shrimp puffs while downing tequila shots.

I'm in a mood.

But what I'm really afraid of is that it's a metamorphosis. I'll fall asleep and somehow grow a chrysalis.

Or like Gregor, awake to find myself a cockroach. What does a person feel like before taking on some hideous physical transformation? Do they crave Ho Ho's and tomato juice?

I guess I'm just not feeling like myself.

It doesn't help that where ever I go, people look at me like this:

Hold on while I consult the Magic Eight Ball to see how this will turn out. Hmmmmmmmmm. "Outlook not so good".

Not what I was hoping to hear. Seems strange things are afoot at the Circle K, I mean Chez Quinn. Let's hope it straightens itself out soon. But if you happen to look out your window and see something like this:



You may want to run too.

Good-Bye B.B. King

As I sit in paradise, also know as writers' retreat, some sadness filtered in. I heard that B.B. King, the original Beale Street Blues Boy, has passed away at the age of 89. He was one of the last original blues men of the era. And a serious class act. He was a gentleman, a generous artist and an amazing musician.

I've seen him perform four times and each show was outstanding. He was polite, funny, generous and so, so talented. He will be missed by many. Back in 2011 I wrote a post about him, and I'd like to share it here. 

B.B King Is A National Treasure

Chez Quinn started the year off right. Not only did The Man and I get to go on a date, but he took me to see B. B. King. It was an outstanding show.

We've seen B. B. King on two other occasions. The first time was a few days before 9/11 in Hershey, PA where he performed with Buddy Guy (who is AWESOME too) and John Hiatt. The second time was three and a half years ago when I was eight months pregnant. So technically, the youngest urchin has been to a B. B. King concert too. The sound table was obstructing our view of that one. But things turned out fantastic because we were moved to the third row where I could see every fret on Lucille.

The Man and I really wanted to see him again, since we knew he's getting up there in age. He announced at the concert that he is now 85 years old. And let me tell you, the man can still rock. The singing and guitar playing were brilliant. Plus he talks to the crowd quite a bit and is funny as hell.

His band has been with him for years. The "new guy" has only been with him for twenty years, so you know these are top notch musicians. They put on a great show too.

After his performance, Mr. King threw guitar picks to the crowd, posed for pictures from the stage and signed anything handed to him. For thirty minutes. The man is a class act. He's been an ambassador for the United states and has toured over ninety countries.

On the way home, talking about the show, I informed The Man that B. B. King was a national treasure. In Japan, people can become living national treasures when they are "keepers of intangible cultural properties." And I believe with all my heart that B. B. King is one of The United States' living national treasures.

So The Man and I started playing one of our favorite games. "Who/What Would Be On Your List?" And I figured I'd play this game with you. Who would be on your list of Living National Treasures of the United States of America?

I'd truly love to know!

What? A Re-Run You Say?

While all my blogging buddies are working their tuckuses (Tucki? Tuckus-es? hmmm.) off for the awesome April A to Z Challenge, I'm busy passing off a 2013 re-run. I bow my head in shame. All the same, enjoy this medicinally induced trip down memory lane. And to all my A to Z friends, I'll be stopping in tonight to root you on!!

Curse You, Head Cold I Was Unprepared For!

So I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom two days ago, rummaging around in the cabinet under the sink, looking for cold medicine. Which we apparently hadn't restocked from last year. I sat there, in my mucus haze, cursing the little three year old glazed-doughnut-monsters that had passed on their crusty germs to me and looking for anything that might provide relief.

This is how The Man stumbled upon me as I dazedly contemplated the decade old Benadryl in my hand, trying to remember what I knew about half-life potency of certain drugs. Which, whether sick or healthy, is pretty much diddly over squat.

Cautiously, like approaching an injured animal in the wild, The Man asked, "Whatcha got there?"

Clutching the medicine that expired in 2003 to my chest like it's My Preciousssss, I replied, "Nothing."

"Nothing, huh?"

"Just some medicine I think I might take."

"Lemme see it."

I shook my head, wishing immediately that I hadn't.

He gave me that disapproving look, the one he saves for when I've really gone off the reservation. The one that's part, "Do we really have to ride this train?" and "Why do I always have to be the responsible adult?"

After much coaxing and bribery by alcohol, he got me to release the medicine and brought me some whiskey with honey and lemon in it, which I sipped until he came back from the store with Nyquil and day time cough medicine.

That Man, I tell you. He's a keeper.

So I've been sick and wishing I could stay in bed, but nursery school duty calls and I must obey--since I'm hoping to give the germs right back to those little critters!

Anywho, until next time, Citizens, when I'll be talking about music and writing. Stay healthy! And if you see any little glazed doughnut monsters wiping their noses on their sleeves. . .  head the other way!

There's An Old Saying...

When you're ass deep in alligators, you tend to forget that your original job was to drain the swamp.

That about sums up life over here at Chez Quinn. Urchins are still sick. Youngest also has an infected ingrown toenail. My father-in-law was in the hospital again, but has been discharged. Two full critiques to finish before the end of the month. And Environmental Field Day.

What's that last one? (Feel free to skip this boring paragraph and watch the video below. It says the same thing, only differently.) 140 first and second graders one day. 190 3rd - 5th graders another. I write a curriculum for each on an environmental theme. Same topic, different age appropriate activities. I shop for all supplies, but create most from scratch. All outdoors at the local state park. 20 or so volunteers to make it work. 10 teachers. 4 buses. I'm in the activity and learning creation stage right now. Lots of research and lesson planning. When I can find the time.



But I'm refusing to let the Tongue In Cheek Year In Review Post be one day later than it is. So without further whiny excuses, here it is.

2014 Tongue In Cheek Year In Review

January
I revealed that I got an R and R from a publisher and asked you all to chime in on how to achieve balance in my life. I heeded all of your advice, applied it and am now a better person. (see above. Then see name of this blog.) I also went on a convoluted, conspiracy ridden tangent on why people should start wearing desks as the ultimate wardrobe accessory. I also did the 2013 Year in Review, and posted two reruns featuring Elvis sightings and dangerous polkas.

February
I lost a wonderful friend to ALS. I took notes on how to party hard from the 3 year olds and wished I could sport a rockin' diet coke mustache. I shared the conversation I had with my youngest Urchin in the public restroom about best uses of The Force for toilet flushing. And I expounded on the intimate relationship I was developing with the spinning beach ball of death on my dying computer. Among other things.

March
I wondered if I should AtoZ. I got a new computer. (yay!) I wished everyone a Happy St. Patrick's day via certain Muppets singing Danny Boy. Then the Scottish had their hilarious, bawdy say. I revealed my AtoZ theme, asking all the probing questions that arise here at Tongue in Cheek re: Polkapocalypses, 'Possum Queens, super villany, etc. And I shared something beautiful.

April
April was the A to Z Challenge. I am so glad I participated (but I won't be able to this year). My theme was "She Actually Posted That?-The best reruns this blog has to offer." There was super villainy, Hostile Polka takeovers, Zombie Stinkbugs, The merits of the mullet, my tribute to sideburn art, awkward taxidermy, conspiracy theories linking Bratz dolls to the imminent alien invasion, much 'Possum Queenin' and lots more of the run of the mill craziness that ensues here at Tongue In Cheek. And a good time was had by most.

May
Author interviews prevailed during the merry, merry month of May. Melissa Maygrove, Sara Walter Ellwood, and Victoria Smith all rocked the Sea Monkey SAT portion of the interview. I tortured harangued took complete advantage of The Man as he was trapped in the mini van with me for four hours by bouncing ideas off him about a plot point for my next book. The conversation went like most of our conversations. Those of you who've been around a while, know what I mean. I also went to paradise, aka writers' retreat.

June
The fabulous Marci Koski nominated me for a Liebster Award. I accepted. With vigor. And a side of crazy, but you guessed that already, I'm sure. I helped reveal Carol Kilgore's cover for Secrets of Honor. Beautimous! And I treated you all to another rerun. Wasn't that nice of me?

July
I found out that Earth has a club. And most likely a manifesto. A long one. Crystal Collier revealed her cover for Soulless. Gorgeous! I reposted an enduring question for the ages and used Barbie, Ken, GI Joe and The Princess Bride to illustrate it. Then I gave you a rerun in which we have even more fun with taxidermied squirrels. Plus lamented about the difficulties that dog every one of The Urchins' birthday parties. All while I was camping for two weeks. ...Why are you looking at me that way?

August
I was kidnapped by Carnies. And then some other stuff happened.

September
While on vacation, I saved my family from a goat reeking devil phone pole. When asked to describe myself for the wonderful Melissa Maygrove's Follow Fest, I wrote, "I recently escaped from evil kidnapping carny folk. I love roller derby, the hermetically sealed environs of my happy place and riding my motorcycle."

October
I asked for advice on how to hide all my crazy when talking to agents and editors at the NJRW conference. And then I took you on an unholy trek to the land of hideous mumus. And it was epic.

November
Crystal Collier traversed the author interview and Sea Monkey SATs. I shared how I mercilessly tortured Peeps over a campfire, and I related a crazy childhood story to illustrate the power of words. Among other things.

December
I was very distracted. I wished you Merry Christmas using Elvis. And I shared the concept of one word new years resolutions. All while presiding over the infamous New Year's Eve Breeches Drop hosted by the blue haired old ladies and their overworked minion. (me)

So that's all the crazy of 2014 in a really huge nutshell. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

As for 2015, I may have some really exciting news to reveal in the next couple of weeks.

AAAANND, Loni Townsend will be here next month to take the Tongue In Cheek author interview, complete with Sea Monkey SATs. Be sure to stop in to check it out.

Until next time, Citizens!

Back At The Desk

Hi Everybody! I'm back! I survived the two week camping trip, but am now drowning in laundry. Soooo, you know what that means.

Another rerun.

Wait, wait, put down the pitchforks (though hopefully you purchased them at my store, The Angry Villager). This rerun is from my vacation last summer to visit my folks in Montana. And there's lots of taxidermy involved.

I can tell I placated you with that last sentence. So sit back and enjoy...

More Fun With Taxidermied Squirrels (I'll be filling you in on all the gory camping details soon.)

Yes, folks, there's so much fun to be had with taxidermied squirrels. You didn't think I'd be able to find anything more entertaining than the ones from my previous post, did you? Well the gauntlet has been thrown down. Here are pictures of actual boxing taxidermied squirrels that I saw in all their moth-nibbled first hand glory when I visited Montana in July.

Upper cut. Upper cut. (Name that video game!)

Note the sheep in the background. This becomes important later.

EXTREME CLOSE UP!

 My mom sent me these photos since I'd forgotten to take them when I was there admiring coughshockedandmezmerizedinabadwaycough them in person. She included in the bottom of the email this picture that scared the ever loving crap out of me.

I could have done without that. (The lamb has a twin coming out of its back. Note the legs appearing as spider leg appendages and the two sets of ears.)

There was an entire case of taxidermied animals at this museum, and the Youngest Urchin, who just turned six, went through and named them all. Until she got to this one. She paused in her identifications, and deemed it, "A baby bobcat and its turkey friend."

Umm, friends don't let friends nibble on each other, Youngest Urchin. Just so you know.

And yet, despite the taxidermy, (or maybe because of it) a good time was had by all that day.

The Urchins, my mom and me. The Man is behind the camera.

What would you want to see in your taxidermy? Inquiring mind (me, of course) would like to know.

A Very Important Question

Hi everyone. I'm still on vacation. Camping. **bone wracking shudders** Here's hoping we all survive. So until I return, I'm leaving you with a rerun from 2010 which asks the question:

Tell Me Which You Would - The Bad or the Good?

How did it get to be Friday already? I'm having trouble getting that little factoid into my brain. I finished my dreaded synopsis of Shifting Her World. Thank you for all your help Misty and Natalie! You know I've had a pretty good writing week if there aren't many posts. Anywho, check out this video. It got me to a-wonderin'.



I loved this commercial when it came out back in the day, mainly for the Van Halen. Yet it was funny, too, and G.I. Joe completely out-cooled Ken.

But here's what I wondered. The Bad Boy. Do you prefer the Bad Boy(or Girl) Hero or the Good Guy(or girl) Hero? I'm split. I write both. I enjoy reading both if they're well rounded. But deep down I think if I was held over a pit of bubbling tar and told to choose, I would go with the good guy. But only if placed under some such duress. (Molten lava would get me to sing on this topic as well.)

So which type of hero would be your favorite as you dangle precariously over the pit? And, remember, this is for posterity, so be honest.

Why Can't Birthday Parties Be Easy?

Right now we are camping. I'm thrilled. Sorry, didn't mean to get that sarcasm all over you. That was just rude of me.

Each year I take one for Team Quinn and go camping for almost two weeks. So I'm leaving you with a rerun. And therefore, I won't be able to answer any comments until I get back. Yeah. THAT kind of camping.

Four days before we left for this trip I was hosting ten 7-year-olds outside in a torrential downpour for my youngest Urchin's birthday.

This rerun is from 2009, which NOT coincidentally appeared a few days before my Oldest Urchin's birthday. (There's a connection here. For some reason birthday parties can never run smoothly at Chez Quinn.) The day before this post I was mopping up vomit from the rest of the family and wrote that I felt like I had a bulls-eye on my back. Well, the next day...

Target Acquired

Yeah. It hit me last evening, before dinner. Only a day before my oldest daughter's birthday party. Can I say that I now have a new appreciation for vomiting in the wee hours since your stomach has had time to digest. I won't go into the degrees of chunkiness, just let it be known that I have changed my opinion.

So now I'm dealing with sore abdomen and back muscles from throwing up. When I was younger I believed it was important to stay in shape in case you had to hang from somewhere high up for a long period of time. Whether it be off a cliff, a high rise, high tension lines - what have you. Obviously you're up there due to an escape attempt from a psychopath and/or mercenaries.

Now that I'm old, I believe you need to stay in shape because you don't want sore muscles after a night of flu induced puking. So to that end I've put in an order for the Hawaii chair. Because really - who doesn't want to get fit while they sit?

'Tis The Season...

of reruns.

What, again?

Yes, again.

In the summer, when my Urchins are home and life speeds up even more, I have less time for a whole bunch of stuff. Especially blogging. So I usually compensate with a few reruns. I'm feeling a little guilty this year since April and the AtoZ challenge was nothing but reruns here at Tongue In Cheek.

Plus, I'm feeling the undeniable pull of my iso chamber. Every once in a while, the world becomes too overwhelming for my skewed, old fashioned brain, and I cocoon up like a pill bug and decide that society can go on without me for a while. I even have an entire category devoted to those times.

I'm a 33 1/3 rpm girl living in an mp3 world. Sigh.

So with that thought, here's an EXTREMELY early post from way back in 2008. It's actually the second post I ever wrote.

Hopefully soon I'll emerge from my self imposed isolation. Until then, enjoy...

Pop Culture is Passing Me By (and I don't really care)

I don't pay for TV. I'll give you a moment to recover from the shock before I go on. Nope. No cable. No Direct TV. No satellite. Do you need more time to mop up the beverage you were drinking? I get five channels pretty clearly, and one that looks like an avalanche.

Every once in a while I surf my five and a half channels to see what's on, and as I return to the first one again I think to myself, "Yep. Nothing's on." I figure I'm saving myself a lot of time. I've heard many a person after they've surfed their two hundred plus channels come to the same conclusion.

I grew up in a house where there was no cable TV. I watched some MTV at a friend's house back in the day, but that was about the extent of it. So it never was a real inconvenience for me to be without it later.

Do I feel deprived? No. Not really.

The only thing really coming out of it is that pop culture is passing me by. Show me a picture of Usher, and you'd have to tell me who he is. Same with George Strait, Jonas Brothers, any contestant from American Idol, Nick Lahey, actors from CSI or Law and Order, and most of the cast of Sex And the City. (I'd recognize Sarah Jessica Parker from Square Pegs.) I could go on, but you get the idea.

There are some people that are so ubiquitous that they even penetrate my little cocoon. Even though I'd rather they didn't. For example, I know who Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Brittany Spears and Jessica Simpson are. And I have to say my life is no better for that knowledge. It may even be a little worse.

I've never seen an episode of Ghost Hunters, Rachel Ray or Sex and the City. Am I shocking you? Do you think I'm crazy? Could be, but as I live my life in ignorant bliss, just remember to speak slowly to me about anything dealing with pop culture. And ignore my confused stare.

I'll be okay. Honest.

I Haven't Fallen Off The Face of the Earth or The AtoZ Wrap Up

Hi everybody! Yes, it's been five days, which in internet time you must take your total number of days missing and multiply by 48. Then convert your answer to months. Be sure to show your work.

Yes, last Friday I survived the second Environmental Field Day of 140 first and second graders. You know. The one that the principal decided ON TUESDAY to make indoors at the school. So almost all my months of planning had to be rewritten in two and a half days. Plus all the volunteers had to be notified and their new assignments given out. I was really popular, let me tell you. Not cool, since I'm just a volunteer myself.

Needless to say, even this look is not strong enough to convey the animosity I had in my heart for the principal last week.



But I'm totally over it now.  

Mostly.

Anywho, I'm still trying to catch up on all the atoz posts that I missed during my (conniption inducing) days volunteering at my daughter's school. (To be honest, I came home Friday evening, went to put the Urchins to bed at 8, and fell asleep before I could. I didn't wake up until 8 the next morning. Completely unheard of. I was past exhausted.)

As for the AtoZ, I have to say that even though I didn't have the time available that I would have liked to go and visit all the other participants, I still had a great time. I'm not sure if I'll do it again next year, but I'd definitely go say hi to the ones who do (just as I've done in years past.) I've met some fantastic people and have broadened my "must read blogs" list considerably!

So how did you all enjoy yourselves? Do you now have any favorite reruns from Tongue In Cheek? What was your favorite part about the hop? Can't wait to hear!

Until next time, citizens!

AtoZ - Conspiracy Theories

Welcome to day 3 of the AtoZ Challenge which brings us to the letter C. If you've spent any time at all here at Tongue In Cheek, you've come to find out that I have a mess of conspiracy theories bouncing around in my head. (One of my earliest posts from 2008 asks the hard question, Is Redneck Contagious?) But today, I'll treat you with one of my recent posts from 2013 wherein I attempt to warn the populace about...

Bratz, The Precursors to the Alien Invasion

It has long been my belief that Bratz were invented to smooth the way for a hostile alien invasion. Their rise in popularity will make the masses much more accepting of their new alien overlords.

Check out the similarities in their physical features.

pic from thehairpin.com

Note both possess the abnormally large slanted eyes. The lack of a definitive nose. The tiny body with huge head. Glam up this green one and you'd have a ringer. Wait, they already did that!

pic from the bestdolldress

So now they're beginning the subjugation of the younger generation through savvy toy marketing. You can tell they've done their homework. They know us well.

I of course, envision something like this happening in the very near future.

And have already begun programming my own Urchins against the indoctrination of alien space invaders. Every time they see a Bratz or their equally evil counterparts from Monster High, they immediately say things like, "Eeeew, Mommy. Look! They're so ugly!"

And it makes my heart glow with maternal pride that I have given them the rudimentary defense against the impending alien invasion.

AtoZ Theme Reveal at Tongue In Cheek

I bit the bullet and decided to join the AtoZ blog hop this year, and I can't wait. For the past few years, I've diligently gone to visit the participants and enjoyed discovering so many other cool cats out in the bloggerverse.

This year, I've even gone so far as to join the Theme Reveal! So be sure to check out all the other cool kids joining in!

And now without further ado, I give you my AtoZ Theme "She Actually Posted That?-The best reruns this blog has to offer."

Why does Ava talk about sea monkeys so much? Why do the demon rhythms of the polka strike fear into Ava's heart? What exactly is a Polkapocalypse? When did Ava attempt to be a super villian? How long was her reign as the local county 'Possum Queen? Why did she write about Karaoke in the Pokey (prison)? Just how much does she love rummage? Will she entertain us with her musings on mullets or mutton chops when it's the day for the letter M?

The answers to these questions and many more will be revealed during the month of April. I really wanted to participate during this extremely hectic time of year, so the way I could do it was by tapping some of the six years of bizarre posts I have. They'll be all new to anyone who hasn't stopped by before, and for my followers now, there are plenty in here you ain't seen yet. So it's a win/win all around.

 I'm looking forward to meeting new friends to come and visit me in the asylum, and going out to other blogs to check in on the goings ons. Can't wait until April first! Until then, citizens!

One Last Re-Run To Get Me On My Feet

Last Wednesday, my very good friend died of a terrible, wasting disease, ALS. Her funeral was yesterday, and I'm still trying to come to grips with the terrible loss of such a wonderful person.

So between that and the snow day today, I needed another re-run. So here it is. The first of the Polka Apocalypse entries from back in February of 2012. The apocalypse ran through March of that year and into April. I'll have a serious entry after that for my friend, but then hopefully I'll be able to drag myself up out of the pit I've been in and resume some of the zaniness this place is known for. So without further ado, I give you this.

 *****

Remember that polka intervention I had last year for my parents? Well, it turns out that I ticked off some pretty scary people. Apparently there is an underground organization out of Europe who took offense to some of my comments.

And now they've found me.

The terrorizing began innocently enough. Just a random polka heard from a passing car now and then. I started to get suspicious when a schnitzel truck began driving by Chez Quinn at regular intervals. Then they started coming en masse, blasting their polkas and *shudder* yodeling.

I got some footage of them. Keep an eye on that red car, because he's out of control.



Needless to say, I'm concerned.

But they aren't the only ones part of an underground organization. The Gnome Defense League leaves gno Gnome behind. So I started calling in some favors from my wet work days with them. And they stepped up. In spades.

First to show up was Ivan The Enforcer. Known for his Kneecap Knockout.




Then, Timmy Top Shot.

The rest of the crew hasn't arrived yet, but they've assured me through the Gnome Underground Network (G.U.N.) that reinforcements are on the way.

As for now, I'm keeping a low profile since we're still outnumbered. I've been warned they may try to take over here at Tongue in Cheek remotely, but the blog is sacred. That would mean all out war. I'm sure they don't want that.

My sources are still putting out feelers to find out their agenda. But it won't be long.

Power to the Gnomes, Citizens!

A Dangerous Re-Run

Things are getting pretty serious around Chez Quinn right now, and I haven't been able to get out on the interwebs to visit with all the people/blogs I usually do.

My good friend is coming into the last stages of her ALS. They don't believe she'll last the week. And my father-in-law is back in congestive heart failure, so things are pretty tough right about now.

So to fight the sadness, I give you the post that started the Polka Apocalypse at this blog. Where the Eastern European Polka Underground came in their Shnitzel truck loaded for bear. And the hill billies and Gnome Underground Network (G.U.N.) rousted them after they took over the blog.

Good times.

So here it is.

*******************
There was a tee shirt I found a year ago that I should have bought as a reminder of the dangers of polka. It read, "I cannot resist the demon rhythm of the polka." Now it just may be too late.

There should have been constant vigilance on my part to keep the polka demons at bay. But the overwhelming oomp pah pahs have forced their way into my family. I should have seen the signs, but being so far away, my parents slipped right under my radar.

It started out small. You know, easily dismissible signs. The quiet polka record playing in the background when I call. Dad wearing a loud shirt in a recent picture. Mom's vehement defense of the pairing of clarinet and tuba. Oh, I should have seen it sooner.

But now they're watching this tv program every night: WARNING - DO NOT WATCH THE ENTIRE PROGRAM. HIGH RISK OF POLKA INFECTION.



So now I'm going to have to have a polka intervention before something irreversible occurs. Something like this:



And that is just so wrong. I have to protect them from themselves - before it really gets out of hand. I can see where they're headed. The ultimate in vile polka.



OHH the inhumanity!!! I need to prepare a detox program stat. I'm sending liberal doses of easy listening. Gordon Lightfoot, Burt Bacharach, Lionel Richie. Anything to deaden the polka effect. Hopefully I'll be able to pull them back from the edge before they start buying matching lederhosen.

*bone wracking shudder*

Because I Needed A Re-Run

And this one, with all our recent snow, seemed appropriate, somehow. So from back in March of 2010, I give you this. Enjoy.

 ***

I know I haven't shared any Elvis sightings recently. That's because I usually save them for the soldiers. Lots of you know I send care packages overseas to deployed soldiers. (I use anysoldier.com to get contacts.)

Anyway, I always write a letter to put in the box of stuff. It usually starts off normal with the weather or some such thing, but you know me. I can't be serious for very long. So I always squeeze in an Elvis sighting. Something like, "I was in the supermarket yesterday and I saw Elvis in the produce section handling the mangoes." Or "We had all this snow, and I could've sworn I saw Elvis one town over snow blowing a driveway. I knew it was him because I could just see his pompadour swirling out of the top of his mad bomber hat. Oh, yeah and his coveralls had sequins on them." I feel accomplished if I can make a soldier roll his eyes in a combat zone. It's the little things in life, right?

So since I haven't shared any Elvis sightings with you recently, here it is, in its full color glory. Enjoy!

A Now Run and A Re-Run

This weekend I got a little fill up of much needed happiness in the form of Philly food. I am a native of the Philadelphia area. And there is no food like it in the world. I got my cheese steak (Provolone, not Velveta).

And I got a Zep. A zep is happiness on a kaiser roll. You can only get a zep in Norristown or Bridgeport, PA. And I feel sorry for all of my readers who have never experienced the taste bud carnival in your mouth that is a Zep. The picture doesn't do it justice. Believe me.

I also went to a great delicatessen that had it's own . . . wait for it . . .

Doot doo dood doooooo! (fanfare)

 complimentary pickle bar. Which was a little slice of heaven on Earth.

Which brings me to the re-run.



Two years ago or so the family packed up the truckster and headed out to get some culture. We saw an exhibit of the Terracotta Warriors on tour from China. We were very classy for most of the the day. But then, we stopped at a Roy Rogers restaurant, and I explained why I would always consider it a five star establishment, regardless that it is a fast food joint. I stand by my rating.

So enjoy the walk down memory lane.

Going to D.C.

So, what little joys keep you sane?

Emergency Re-Runs

I was going to do a post today about my long,  torrid and completely one-sided love affair with Bruce Campbell . . .

My dreamboat via hitfix.com

But that will have to wait for a while. I found out yesterday that my father had some sort of a heart attack and is in the hospital, so I will probably not be around the internets for a while. I'll be checking in on all those great blogs that I read at a later date, and will be scheduling some re-runs for the time being. I don't think I'll be flying out to Montana, but I don't know what the full situation is yet.

So enjoy the Tongue In Cheek zaniness from the past, starting with last year's Memorial Day celebration - 'Possum Queen style.

Grilled 'Possum Memorial Day BBQ