I'm Not Dead...Yet

Hey guys! My mom is in from Montana, visiting. Since I only get to see her once a year, I''ve been mostly ignoring the internet.

I'm also down to the wire for Pitch Wars. The agent round is November 2. All my stuff has to be in on Halloween. And I'm still working. Every spare second.

So in case you never hear from me again, it's because revisions actually do kill. I will forevermore be a cautionary tale to all writers.

via GIPHY


Until next time, Citizens!

Tooth Fairy Motels and Other Happenings

So there's too much to tell. #PitchWars has been a phenomenal experience. But edits and revising is taking up every spare minute I have. The agent round is November 2nd. And I still have so much to do. (Excuse me a moment while I hyperventilate........Ok, I'm back.)

One of the things that happened a little while back is that Youngest Urchin finally lost a tooth--albeit somewhat unwillingly--that had been hanging on for months. Mostly because she refused to wiggle it, eat on it , breathe on it or otherwise touch it in any way, shape or form.

So the dentist pulled it out at her cleaning. She kept it together. No sobbing. Or biting.

Translation: Win!

So then the real craziness begins. Because the girls don't just put their teeth under their pillow for the tooth fairy. No. They have an entire Tooth Fairy Motel. It's set up 24/7 under Youngest's bottom bunk.

It's even labeled, just in case the Tooth Fairy doesn't know it's for her.

To get to the bed, just slip past the elephant and giraffe on the right.

There is also a tooth pedestal. Again, properly labeled, just in case the Tooth Fairy might have questions.

And of course, there's a note.

It's the note that leads to more work, because the Tooth Fairy writes back. In 5 pt. font. And it's always from a different Tooth Fairy, since there are loads of them. Personalized with a picture of themselves.

You see, I do it to myself. I can't say no to little old ladies or toothless children. It's part of why I'm always over extended.

Like now.

Hope you all are doing well. I'll be trying to hop around to your blogs soon. Once I train myself to write and revise faster. (I'm such a slow writer, it's ridiculous!!)

Until next time, Citizens!!

I Love The Blues

A few years ago I wrote a small post on my admiration for the blues and their creative turns of phrases. But the storytelling that goes on in those songs always astounds me. The vivid descriptions with few words is something I hope to come close to some day in my own writing.

Here's Shemekia Copeland, an outstanding blues singer whom I've admired for years, performing Never Going Back to Memphis.



The full version of this song on her album is a little over seven minutes and well worth it.

My favorite lines-
There wasn't a thing that man couldn't sell ya.

Cops walked in
Dog pullin' on a chain
Lookin' for a woman ran in from the rain
They sat out front eating fried chicken
While I sat shivering in a shed out behind the kitchen.

And that final verse gives me goosebumps
 
The river is risin'
Sky's gettin' darker
My mind keeps playin'
some old Junior Parker
Three days waitin'
All alone by the tracks
Lyin' to myself that man's coming back
He said he'd come around unless he was dead
guess he took another woman or a bullet in the head
I'm never goin' back to Memphis.

I love to listen to the lyrics of a song. The Man usually disregards most of the lyrics and focuses in on the melody. What do you primarily tune in to when listening to music? Are there any songs right now that you're really into? I'd love to expand my repertoire. So lay them on me in the comments.

The Cover for STATIC by S.K. Anthony Is Here!

Hi, everybody! S. K. Anthony, author extraordinaire and fun blogger has a new book coming out! And I get to reveal the cover! Woot! Let's get to it.


STATIC

The Luminaries

Book Two

Title: STATIC

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Release Date: September 2015

Cover Design: Regina Wamba of Mae I Design

Synopsis:

Kevin Pierce is a teleporter, a ladies’ man, and a loyal friend . . . or so he thought.

As a genetically altered Luminary, he helps the government bring down some of the most dangerous criminals. Not very challenging if you have his special abilities. But when a group of rebel Luminaries attacks his Organization the fight for survival begins.



One shattering event after another tests the depth of his relationships, his sanity, and his powers. Emotionally torn, Kevin must choose carefully where his loyalty lies. In the middle of all the unexpected chaos he gets the biggest shock of his life when he’s faced by a betrayal he never saw coming. Angry, injured, and ready to even the score, Kevin goes Static . . .

 

Add it to your Goodreads *here*

About the Author:

S. K. Anthony is a writer, a reader and a make-stuff-up-er who lives in New York with her husband and toddler twins. She is a wine connoisseur, which just really means she knows she loves it, and a caffeine addict. When she isn’t busy with her family she finds herself being transported into the world of imagination. Well, either that or running away from spiders…she is convinced they are out to get her!

Stalk S.K. Anthony here:

Blog ~ Facebook ~ Goodreads ~ Twitter ~ Google + ~ Pinterest



You can find Book One here:

Amazon            ~  Barnes and Noble  

Createspace    ~  Amazon Ca 

Amazon UK    ~  Goodreads






The book sounds great! Do you know S. K.? Have you helped with cover reveals and book launches? Until next time, Citizens!

Quick Update

Hey guys! I know I don't talk a lot about writing on here, so some of you may have forgotten that I actually do write things other than ridiculous Muumuu quests.

So I entered a Twitter contest called #Pitchwars sponsored by @brendadrake. She's amazing, guys. Totally follow her on Twitter. She's amazingly supportive of the writing community and so, so generous.

Anywho, gushing aside, I was chosen to have a mentor to work on my pool hustler manuscript last night. When I found out, I was all like...

via GIPHY

My mentor's name is Natasha Raulerson, and she's awesome, y'all. You can find her on Twitter here @RaulersonWrites.

So I just wanted to share with you all, because you're such a fantastic writing community. Soon there will be more craziness around here on the blog, and tomorrow I'm revealing S. K. Anthony's cover for her upcoming release! So back to your regularly scheduled lives, Citizens!

I Survived The Birthday Party!

Oldest Urchin's pool birthday party was last Saturday night, and I did not walk away unscathed. (Shocking, I know.)

First, as we came to a stop at the end of our street on our way to the pool, the crockpot containing hotdogs that I'd been cooking most of the day, tipped over and spilled its entire contents--greasy water and all--onto the floor of the minivan. (Our beleaguered van is over a dozen years old, and apparently angers the local deer population as its been attacked by one deer and had numerous near misses.)

Based on smell, and yes, a little on appearance, I am now the pilot of the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile.

Ahh, the glory of my life.

Since the hot dogs and mac-n-cheese were the main staples of what I was serving that night, we had to stop and buy emergency pizzas on the way.  Little Caesar's was the only place en route. I'll just say here, I'm not a fan.

In the over-exuberance of Oldest Urchin and her friends, the beginning of the party resembled the caddy swim in Caddyshack. Thankfully minus the doody.



And what is it with giving cash to an eleven year old? At least 3 of the kids gave Oldest a card with five bucks inside as their present. Totally weird.

In the end though, a good time was had by all. And as we drove away into the sunset, the smell of overcooked hot dogs wafting from our open windows, the girls declared it a rollicking good time. So for my sanity and the sake of the photo album, I'm calling it a total win.

So. How was your weekend?

This Isn't A Post

Really. Go to the previous post. Or click on the topic appropriate re-runs below. This is just a post about how I'm going to post soon.

I'm home from vacation. The back yard carnival is over, and Oldest Urchin's birthday is coming up. Which means, not only am I getting around to your blogs again, Tongue In Cheek will be chock full of epic craziness soon.

But for now, you can enjoy an epic craziness post from last summer's vacation to tide you over involving dueling banjos and a crazed muumuu search.

And new posts will be coming soon. (You've been warned.)

I Dig Them Up

It's up to you to decide whether or not to watch them. Here are some ca-RAAA-zy videos. Warning: you will never get the time back that you spent watching them. Plus, you may never get over it. Tongue In Cheek and its affiliates are not responsible for loss of time or brain cells in the watching of these videos. Watch at your own risk.

First--Charo


Next--Hasselhoff


I share with love. Truly. You needed to know these things existed. You're now a better person.

You're welcome.

A Vacation Re-Run

The Quinns are on vacation. So feel for me. I'm camping. At the beach. To some this sounds great. To me? Not so much. Anywho...I'm embarrassed to tell you how long ago this re-run is from.  So just sit back and enjoy my country music song writer envy.

Country music song writers are great storytellers. As you may have read a few posts back, redneck seems to be rubbing off on me because I recently started listening to country music. But I have to say that I've gained a great deal of respect for them this year.

In the past I thought of country music as some kind of twisted joke. I was convinced the old saying was true. What do you get when you play a country song backwards? You get your car back, your wife back, your heart back, your old hound dog back, your house back, etc. I never for a second thought that I'd be appreciative of their skill in setting scenes and evoking emotion with only a few lines. Lines that rhyme to boot! As a writer this fascinates me. These authors create an evocative story that can be told in three minutes. For instance, here's one of my recent favorites penned and sung by Dierks Bentley--What Was I Thinking. Check out this beginning.

Becky was a beauty from south Alabama.
Her Daddy had a heart like a nine pound hammer.
I think he even did a little time in the slammer.
What was I thinkin'?

Those are the first four lines of his hit What Was I Thinkin'? The second line is awesome! Such description! Definite use of hook in my opinion.

Tim McGraw and The Warren Brothers wrote this next one. It's a fictionalized letter prepared by a soldier in case he dies in the line of duty. It's called If You're Reading This, and I can't listen to it because it makes me cry every time, but that doesn't mean I don't love it. Here's a section out of the middle.

If you’re reading this
Half way around the world
I won’t be there to see the birth of our little girl
I hope she looks like you
I hope she fights like me
Stands up for the innocent and the weak
I’m laying down my gun
I’m hanging up my boots
Tell dad I don’t regret that I followed in his shoes

So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
Is where my momma always prayed that it would go
And if you’re reading this
I’m already home

The emotion evoked is stellar. Something I feel that I don't go far enough with in my writing. I can't seem to open up enough, or be courageous enough, to pour my emotions into my writing, which inevitably, I believe, will hold it back.

Here's some great setting and character description from Redneck Yacht Club by Craig Morgan.

Bass-trackers, Bayliners and a party barge,
Strung together like a floating trailer park,
Anchored out and gettin' loud all summer long.
Side by side, there's five houseboat front porches,
Astroturf, lawn chairs and tiki torches.
Regular Joes rocking the boat, that's us:
The Redneck Yacht Club.

Bermuda's, flip-flops and a tank-top tan:
He popped his first top at ten a.m.: that's Bob,
He's our president.

I love the description of their president. Nineteen words, and he's captured. I can completely visualize him.

And as a romance writer, I have to put some sweet stuff in too. Here's the last verse of Little Moments by Brad Paisley.

When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like an angel that I don't wanna wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

So there's a few examples, all done with an economy of well-chosen words, perfectly strung together. Man, that's something as a writer I definitely am trying to aspire to.

No one who knew me in the past would ever believe that I'd become a country fan. It's got to be that redneck really is contagious. I refuse to believe anything else.

I'm Scared I Might Grow A Chrysalis

And I can't figure it out. I want to watch Hee Haw re-runs and eat lemon Jello. I want to wear my Slayer concert tee shirt with fuzzy bunny slippers. I want to eat shrimp puffs while downing tequila shots.

I'm in a mood.

But what I'm really afraid of is that it's a metamorphosis. I'll fall asleep and somehow grow a chrysalis.

Or like Gregor, awake to find myself a cockroach. What does a person feel like before taking on some hideous physical transformation? Do they crave Ho Ho's and tomato juice?

I guess I'm just not feeling like myself.

It doesn't help that where ever I go, people look at me like this:

Hold on while I consult the Magic Eight Ball to see how this will turn out. Hmmmmmmmmm. "Outlook not so good".

Not what I was hoping to hear. Seems strange things are afoot at the Circle K, I mean Chez Quinn. Let's hope it straightens itself out soon. But if you happen to look out your window and see something like this:



You may want to run too.