Loni Townsend's Sea Monkey Interview

Hi everyone! Please welcome Loni Townsend to Tongue In Cheek today. Loni, Tell us a little about yourself.

Loni Townsend
Wife. Mother. Writer. Ninja. Squirrel.

By day, she writes code. By predawn darkness, she writes fantasies. All other times, she writes in her head.

People call her peculiar with a twisted sense of fashion, but don't let those understatements fool you. Her behavior is perfectly normal for a squirrel disguised as a human. That's part of being a ninja—blending in.

She makes her home in Idaho with her sadistically clever—yet often thwarted—husband, two frighteningly brilliant children, and three sneaky little shibas.

Find her on her blog or social media.

Contact info:
Blog — http://www.lonitownsend.com
Facebook — http://www.facebook.com/squirreltalk
Twitter — https://www.twitter.com/LoniTownsend
Google+ — http://www.google.com/+LoniTownsend
Goodreads — https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7390512.Loni_Townsend

A.Q. - Thanks for agreeing to answer some interview questions about yourself and your new book.

Thank you for having me on your blog! I must say, the first time I came across your blog was when Melissa Maygrove linked to the boxing squirrels for the A-Z challenge. I couldn’t resist. I mean, squirrels! How could anyone resist them?

A.Q. -Exactly! So, What is your book about?

I always seize up when it comes to this question. It’s about a girl… Oh, wait, you mean I can just show you what’s on the back of the book? Well if that’s all it takes…

It’s her first day on a new world and Cera’s already found trouble. Michael, her guardian, has been bitten by a zombie and will soon join the undead ranks.

Everyone tells her there’s no cure, but Cera isn’t one to be deterred. She’s willing to face off with zombie hordes, demon slavers, and black market informants if it means she’ll find a cure for Michael. But she’s not the only one hunting for something.

Something is hunting her.

A.Q. - That sounds awesome. Can you share an interesting behind the scenes tidbit about your story?

I have a cannibalistic pygmy in my story! Okay, so that’s not really behind the scenes. But Fues (my pygmy) wasn’t a pygmy when I first conceived him. He was just a tribal huntsman. And he wasn’t a cannibal either. He became a pygmy after I walked up to my husband with the statement, “hey, I need help with an idea,” and my husband (not knowing at all what I was referring to) blurted, “add a cannibalistic pygmy.” It didn’t solve the problem I was working on at the time, but Fues morphed in that moment from just a tribal guy to a pygmy.

A.Q. - Lol! What is your favorite part of the story writing process?

My favorite part is staring off into space and watching the scene play out in my head. I occasionally mumble lines along with my characters. Usually my husband asks, “You’re thinking about your book, aren’t you?”

A.Q. - Writing can be such an isolated enterprise. Yet, I’m sure there are people who have helped, guided or inspired you along the way to becoming a published author. Could you tell us about one of them and how they helped you?

Inspired, yes. My husband is one of my inspirations. He’ll shout out ideas, meaning them completely in jest, and I’ll use them. Like Fues, mentioned above. He also said, “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if a zombie was haunted by its own ghost?” And thus, This World Bites was born.

A.Q. - Fantastic. What are you working on now/next?

I have two main projects and then a third I want to finish before the year is out. First and foremost on my mind is Isto, book 2 of the ninier series. I have a ton written for this book, but I keep tripping up on flow and timeline. So things keep changing. The second main project is a novella called Lust. It’s part of a collection I’m working on with six other authors. We’re each taking one of the deadly sins. The last project is Murder Most Fowl, the next Cera Chronicle. I wrote super quick installments for the A-Z challenge, but I want to fill it out, clean it up, and actually turn it into a good novella.

Now for the S.A.T. portion of the interview:

Fill in the blank –
If I were a villain, I would have _mechanical squirrels_ for minions to deliver my wrath because _we’re all a little nuts_______.  (And remember, sea monkeys are already spoken for. Mostly)

Sea Monkeys are to __Squirrels____ as zombie stinkbugs are to __sharks with lasers___.


A.Q. - Please tell us where we can find out more about you and where we can buy your books.

If you really do want to know more about me, I recommend my blog at  HYPERLINK. You can buy both of my books on Amazon, though This World Bites is also available through other stores.

This World Bites – Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/This-World-Bites-Townsend-Loni-ebook/dp/B00S74T0SO








Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24481680-this-world-bites
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/This-World-Bites-Townsend-Loni-ebook/dp/B00S74T0SO/
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1121064991?ean=9781941022047
Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/this-world-bites
 
A.Q. - Thanks again for stopping in!

Thanks again for having me!

There's An Old Saying...

When you're ass deep in alligators, you tend to forget that your original job was to drain the swamp.

That about sums up life over here at Chez Quinn. Urchins are still sick. Youngest also has an infected ingrown toenail. My father-in-law was in the hospital again, but has been discharged. Two full critiques to finish before the end of the month. And Environmental Field Day.

What's that last one? (Feel free to skip this boring paragraph and watch the video below. It says the same thing, only differently.) 140 first and second graders one day. 190 3rd - 5th graders another. I write a curriculum for each on an environmental theme. Same topic, different age appropriate activities. I shop for all supplies, but create most from scratch. All outdoors at the local state park. 20 or so volunteers to make it work. 10 teachers. 4 buses. I'm in the activity and learning creation stage right now. Lots of research and lesson planning. When I can find the time.



But I'm refusing to let the Tongue In Cheek Year In Review Post be one day later than it is. So without further whiny excuses, here it is.

2014 Tongue In Cheek Year In Review

January
I revealed that I got an R and R from a publisher and asked you all to chime in on how to achieve balance in my life. I heeded all of your advice, applied it and am now a better person. (see above. Then see name of this blog.) I also went on a convoluted, conspiracy ridden tangent on why people should start wearing desks as the ultimate wardrobe accessory. I also did the 2013 Year in Review, and posted two reruns featuring Elvis sightings and dangerous polkas.

February
I lost a wonderful friend to ALS. I took notes on how to party hard from the 3 year olds and wished I could sport a rockin' diet coke mustache. I shared the conversation I had with my youngest Urchin in the public restroom about best uses of The Force for toilet flushing. And I expounded on the intimate relationship I was developing with the spinning beach ball of death on my dying computer. Among other things.

March
I wondered if I should AtoZ. I got a new computer. (yay!) I wished everyone a Happy St. Patrick's day via certain Muppets singing Danny Boy. Then the Scottish had their hilarious, bawdy say. I revealed my AtoZ theme, asking all the probing questions that arise here at Tongue in Cheek re: Polkapocalypses, 'Possum Queens, super villany, etc. And I shared something beautiful.

April
April was the A to Z Challenge. I am so glad I participated (but I won't be able to this year). My theme was "She Actually Posted That?-The best reruns this blog has to offer." There was super villainy, Hostile Polka takeovers, Zombie Stinkbugs, The merits of the mullet, my tribute to sideburn art, awkward taxidermy, conspiracy theories linking Bratz dolls to the imminent alien invasion, much 'Possum Queenin' and lots more of the run of the mill craziness that ensues here at Tongue In Cheek. And a good time was had by most.

May
Author interviews prevailed during the merry, merry month of May. Melissa Maygrove, Sara Walter Ellwood, and Victoria Smith all rocked the Sea Monkey SAT portion of the interview. I tortured harangued took complete advantage of The Man as he was trapped in the mini van with me for four hours by bouncing ideas off him about a plot point for my next book. The conversation went like most of our conversations. Those of you who've been around a while, know what I mean. I also went to paradise, aka writers' retreat.

June
The fabulous Marci Koski nominated me for a Liebster Award. I accepted. With vigor. And a side of crazy, but you guessed that already, I'm sure. I helped reveal Carol Kilgore's cover for Secrets of Honor. Beautimous! And I treated you all to another rerun. Wasn't that nice of me?

July
I found out that Earth has a club. And most likely a manifesto. A long one. Crystal Collier revealed her cover for Soulless. Gorgeous! I reposted an enduring question for the ages and used Barbie, Ken, GI Joe and The Princess Bride to illustrate it. Then I gave you a rerun in which we have even more fun with taxidermied squirrels. Plus lamented about the difficulties that dog every one of The Urchins' birthday parties. All while I was camping for two weeks. ...Why are you looking at me that way?

August
I was kidnapped by Carnies. And then some other stuff happened.

September
While on vacation, I saved my family from a goat reeking devil phone pole. When asked to describe myself for the wonderful Melissa Maygrove's Follow Fest, I wrote, "I recently escaped from evil kidnapping carny folk. I love roller derby, the hermetically sealed environs of my happy place and riding my motorcycle."

October
I asked for advice on how to hide all my crazy when talking to agents and editors at the NJRW conference. And then I took you on an unholy trek to the land of hideous mumus. And it was epic.

November
Crystal Collier traversed the author interview and Sea Monkey SATs. I shared how I mercilessly tortured Peeps over a campfire, and I related a crazy childhood story to illustrate the power of words. Among other things.

December
I was very distracted. I wished you Merry Christmas using Elvis. And I shared the concept of one word new years resolutions. All while presiding over the infamous New Year's Eve Breeches Drop hosted by the blue haired old ladies and their overworked minion. (me)

So that's all the crazy of 2014 in a really huge nutshell. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

As for 2015, I may have some really exciting news to reveal in the next couple of weeks.

AAAANND, Loni Townsend will be here next month to take the Tongue In Cheek author interview, complete with Sea Monkey SATs. Be sure to stop in to check it out.

Until next time, Citizens!

We Will Return To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

Hi all! Didn't want you to think I've deserted you. The Urchins have been pretty sick for the past two weeks. The doctor I took Oldest Urchin to today thinks it might be whooping cough. So my time as of late has been all about Mommy Mode.

I haven't forgotten about the crazy New Year's Eve drop recap or the 2014 TiC year in review. They're just on hold for the moment until everyone's out of the sick ward (and I'm out of the psych ward from all the crazy over here).

Until then, Citizens, hope 2015 isn't treating you like a hackey sack!

Happy New Year, Citizens!

Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry I haven't been around on the interwebs as much as usual. The culmination of a year's worth of meetings presided over by those iron-fisted, yet extremely rambly blue haired old ladies is finally coming to fruition tonight. Yes, the ginormous breeches are dropping.

I've been running around getting ready for the kids crafts I'll be running for the night and picking up last minute items for the committee. Because the big drop is tonight!

The Urchins are predictably and massively whipped up. I'm trying to channel all that excitement into thank you cards. Somehow there doesn't seem to be a good translation from UBER EXCITING FUN WAAAAAY PAST OUR NORMAL BEDTIME!!! to sit and with grateful heart, thank your Great Great Aunt Emily for the check she sent you. Go figure.

Anywho, I tweeted earlier this week while I was slaving away at Staples prepping one of the crafts for tonight, and I thought I'd share.

Pictured above are one-word resolutions and wishes for the new year. The writer in me really liked the idea of choosing one word to describe goals and wishes for the entire year. It cuts down the extraneous distractions that get me every time (ooh! Is that a chicken over there?) to a laser sharp idea.

Write

Read

Create

It's not a replacement for definable goals, but more like a mantra or billboard reminder of what it is you truly want to accomplish.

So as we leave 2014 behind, what are some words you'd like to focus on in 2015?

Have a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve!! I'll be back in 2015 with the NYE drop recap and the 2014 year in review. Until then, Citizens!

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

I hope you all enjoy your holiday. The Urchins are on the best behavior they can muster, which isn't much. The Man is still in present wrapping mode, and I'm desperately trying to get the cookies and food ready. I need something to get me through. I know just what will help. And it's not 80 proof.

It's ELVIS! (Rule #6 - When in doubt, turn on the Elvis.)

So to make your holiday even merrier, enjoy my favorite Elvis Christmas song.



Have a fantastic, fun-filled and peaceful Christmas.

See you soon for the Tongue In Cheek year in review.

Until next time, Citizens!

Distracted

Is there some holiday coming up soon? Every once in a while as I come up for air I hear something about it. I know for a fact that The Urchins want in on it. Just can't put my finger on what it is...

I've been a bit distracted lately. The blue-haired old ladies have commandeered much of my spare time. I'm sure I've mentioned once or twice that little old ladies are my personal Kryptonite. These particular ones run long, rambly meetings and send me all over town on errands for the New Year's Eve Drop they do for the community each year. (They drop pants from a flagpole. I kid you not.) I'm in charge of children's crafts and games, among other things.

I've also been playing the "Where's My Spy Camera Game" for the past month.



Refreshing my email every twenty-seven seconds to see if the people who requested my manuscript have rejected me yet has my nerves frazzled. It hasn't done much good for my sleeping habits either.

Most of my writing efforts have been used up on refraining myself from re-editing the manuscript I submitted. That's been an effort of Herculean proportions. So I've been focusing on how to improve my query letter for when the rejections come. I'm not pleased with the second paragraph describing Ethan. It seems choppy, but I've looked at it too many times to make improvements. Though I wouldn't be adverse to suggestions in the comments. ;)

Searching for home…

Weary pool hustler Sheridan Ward craves a normal life. Her ticket out? A high stakes underground tournament. Working her way across Texas from honkytonk to pool hall and all shady points between, she’s almost earned enough for the buy-in. Until she hustles some good ole boys who aren’t so good. Now she’s got an injured wrist, a truck that’s trashed, and a handsome sheriff dogging her to press charges.

Searching for justice…

Sheriff Ethan Bankert doesn’t have time for a woman. But the beautiful hustler picked the wrong men to con. He should know—they’re the main suspects in his father’s murder. A case that’s gone cold. Whether she wants to believe him or not, tangling with them has painted a bulls-eye on her back. Now, with Sheridan under his roof, protective custody takes on a whole new meaning. If he could just convince her to press charges, not only could he keep her safe, it would be the opening he’s been looking for to continue his investigation.

Searching for forever…

As their nights heat up, Sheridan’s walls of distrust start to crumble, but this sexy-as-sin sheriff still won’t convince her to step foot in a courtroom again. Not after the humiliation she went through there as a child. The road is calling as her last big score nears. Never mind that since she stumbled into this town her deepest dreams have grown to encompass a life with Ethan.

But their future is jeopardized by the same threat that ended his father’s life. Only this time, it’s Sheridan in the crosshairs.

A SHOT AT FOREVER is a 97,000 word adult contemporary romance, and the first stand-alone book in my series of Hard To Tame Heroines set in small town Texas. I am a member of RWA and the former (2013) president of my local chapter. A SHOT AT FOREVER was a finalist in the 2013 Sheila Contest held by the Valley Forge Romance Writers.

~~*~~

Present shopping and wrapping, Christmas play practices, not to mention the frightening levels of Christmas-crazy enveloping the three year olds I teach have all taken their toll. I'm frazzled and jittery and a donkey on the edge.

So as this wonderful holiday approaches at warp factor 8, I hope you all have the opportunity to enjoy your time. Don't be like me and let the outside world avalanche down around your ears.

Wishing you all peace and happiness and


Until next time, Citizens!

Giving The Power Of Words

When we were young, my older brother and I loved to get mail. I can remember races to the death involving so much illegal tackling and shirt holding that we would have been banned from the NFL for life.

Just to see if we got any mail.

You can imagine the mountain of mail a six and nine year old child would get on a normal business day. So, after the winner of the Battle Royale--bloodied and bruised, and walking with a severe limp--would bring the mail to dear old Mom, the disappointment on our injured faces would be almost comical.

But still we loved to get mail. So much so, that we would fight over any junk mail that would be shuffled in with the bills, correspondence and catalogs. As Mom would flip through it all, two youngsters, jockeying for position while covertly throwing elbows, would ask, “Can I have that?” Until a chorus of Canihavethat?Canihavethat?Canihavethats echoed after even the slightest twitch of her fingers.

So, necessity being the mother of invention, (and my mom the most inventive of them all) in her infinite wisdom decreed that forever forward I would be known as Occupant and my brother, Resident.

With our new titles, our Canihavethats turned into “C’mon, occupant” or “resident resident resident” being beseeched under our breaths with more inner cosmic force than the worst Vegas slot machine addict ever known. Fingers, toes, legs and eyes were all crossed to endear ourselves to the luck and mail gods of the universe who, obviously, mandated the writing of "occupant" or "resident" on all junk mail.

Hardened gamblers at the racetrack had nothing on us. The anticipation as our eyes watched Mom’s every movement while she flipped through the stack. The gleeful dances of the one who got lucky. The sick disappointment of the one who walked away empty handed. To live or die at the whim of companies’ advertising department, only to start it all over the next day.

Good times.

I relate that embarrassing childhood story to punctuate the power of the written word. As authors, we're already well aware of that power and strive to wield it as we create our stories. But more specifically, I refer to the power of a letter. The written word purposefully given to another.

Authors use their time and talent to entertain and inform the masses. They can also use those same skills to lift the spirit, boost morale and deliver hope to another person. There are lots of websites that offer that opportunity to anyone, not just writing professionals.

Anysoldier.com, Soldiersangels.org, uso.org, letterstosoldiers.org, are all organizations that provide addresses for you to write a soldier stationed in a combat zone. Saying thank you, showing your appreciation, or just a friendly hello are all powerful ways for authors to use their gifts.

You can write anonymous love letters to people who are going through terrible tragedies.

Or, if you’re brave enough, you can even write an inmate. WriteAPrisoner.com will set you up with a male or female inmate to become pen pals with.

Just a little reminder  during this time of thanks and giving that the power of the written word distributed to the masses or to a single person each create an impact in their own unique way. So if you’re looking for a special project, and volunteering at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen or food bank isn't up your alley, here is a way in which you can make a difference without even having to leave your own home.

And who knows, you just may inspire a gleeful victory dance from the recipient.

An Explanation And Some Crazy

I haven't been out on the interwebs recently. I'm actually still not over my bronchitis completely, and it's left me pretty exhausted. I of course haven't slowed down in real life, so when I'd sit for a moment to visit all you cool cats in the virtual world, I would  promptly fall asleep.

Also, I got some pretty big nibbles on A Shot At Forever at the NJ conference I attended last month. I sent out three requests for fulls to major houses this week, and I just sent the full to a NY agent. (As in right now. She emailed me at 4:59pm and I sent it at 5:21 pm.) EEK!!! I'd also sent queries to four other agents on Thursday. So I've been sludging through this illness, trying to remind myself that my mc, Sheridan, drives a pickup truck, not a unicorn as I got submission packets ready. 

So with my excuses out of the way, are you ready for the crazy? Remember my Trek Into The Unholy Land Of Hideous Mumus? Of course you do. Well, before we left last July on that two week rustic camping trip, I was overly determined (Nice way of saying crazy-eyed and almost demented) to use the last of the Easter Peeps.

Okay, yes, we had an overabundance of Peeps. And yes, in a slightly roundabout way that was my fault.

1. I don't like to eat Peeps.
2. I can't resist their marketing.

They were offering adorable stuffed animal peeps in a package of eight to ten marshmallow Peeps. These stuffed animals were so stinking cute, I couldn't resist.

(Damn you sophisticated marketing gurus! I've fallen into your marshmallowy clutches again!
As such.)

How can you resist a sparkly, speckled Peep in a Santa hat? I mean, c'mon!!

So now I'm back in the same boat. I'm in a destructive cycle. We have ten peppermint Peeps that I won't touch and will only ration sparingly to the rest of my family since they're nothing but unadulterated sugar.

Which leads to disgruntledness from all fronts. The family because there's Peeps to be had, and I won't dole them out.

Me because packages of Peeps are cluttering up my already severely cluttered domicile. AND since I was raised like I was a child in the 1940s who just barely survived the Great Depression, I cannot willingly dispose of them without bursting into flaming hives of guilt.

So to solve my problem, I took them camping. And tortured them over the campfire as they'd done to me since April.

Revenge! REVENGE!! (said like K-K-K-Ken from A Fish Called Wanda*

 The Urchins, wonderful Urchins that they are, assured me they were delicious.


*

Thank You, Veterans

Happy Veterans Day. Thank you veterans and active service men and women. I know I've said it before, but my father is a Vietnam veteran, my maternal grandfather was a World War One veteran, and my paternal grandfather was a World War Two veteran. And I'm thankful everyday for the service they rendered to our country.

Some of you long time Tongue In Cheekers (You know...the ones who need serious therapy.) may remember one of the charities Chez Quinn supports is anysoldier.com. (And also, that All My Elvis Sightings Go To Soldiers.) Just want to give a quick shout out to anysoldier. They connect US citizens with soldiers in an active combat zone by providing an address and a list of needs those soldiers have that we can fulfill. It's humbling what most of those soldiers ask for. We've received grateful letters and emails from soldiers in many remote spots on the globe. Which we never expect, but are always so grateful to receive.

So thank you, servicemen and women. And thank you veterans!

Do you have a veteran in your family tree?

Next time, I'll be back to the crazy. You've been warned!

Crystal Collier's Sea Monkey Author Interview!!

Hi everyone! The fun and energetic Crystal Collier is here at Tongue In Cheek today. So strap in for her Sea Monkey Author interview.

Bio: Crystal Collier is a young adult author who pens dark fantasy, historical, and romance hybrids. She can be found practicing her brother-induced ninja skills while teaching children or madly typing about fantastic and impossible creatures. She has lived from coast to coast and now calls Florida home with her creative husband, three littles, and a "friend" (a.k.a. the zombie locked in her closet). Secretly, she dreams of world domination and a bottomless supply of cheese. You can find her on her blog and Facebook, or follow her on Twitter. 

A.Q. - Thanks for agreeing to answer some interview questions about yourself and your new book.

Thank you for having me! (Cheese for you—and everyone else.)

A.Q. - So, what is your book about?

SOULLESS is book 2 in the Maiden of Time trilogy:

The Soulless are coming.

Alexia manipulated time to save the man of her dreams, and lost her best friend to red-eyed wraiths. Still grieving, she struggles to reconcile her loss with what was gained: her impending marriage. But when her wedding is destroyed by the Soulless—who then steal the only protection her people have—she’s forced to unleash her true power.

And risk losing everything.

A.Q. - Can you share an interesting behind the scenes tidbit about your story?

It’s no secret there’s a wedding in this book. During the rewrites, it moved between 3 different places in the storyline: 1/3 the way through, 3/4 the way through, and 90% of the way through. Now the question, where do you think it stayed?

A.Q. – Oooh! I wonder!! Lol! What is your favorite part of the writing process?

Goodness, all of it? I love the rush of that new idea as it shoots into existence, the time spent editing drafts to clarify the vision, holding the completed book in my hands, the thrill of joy every time a reader contacts me to say how much they loved it.

A.Q. - Writing can be such an isolated enterprise. Yet, I’m sure there are people who have helped, guided or inspired you along the way to becoming a published author. Could you tell us about one of them and how they helped you?

My third grade teacher, Mrs. Turner, was a special kind of angel. She recognized the budding artist in me and encouraged it—through the written word especially. I’ll never forget her daily writing prompts or how she read each and responded individually, asking questions and pushing me toward expanding my ideas. 

A.Q. – Ahh, love those teachers. What are you working on now/next?

TIMELESS, the third book in the Maiden of Time Trilogy, along with BELLEZZA, a serial story about a vicious and deadly child bent on revenge.

Now for the S.A.T. portion of the interview:

Fill in the blank –

If I were a villain, I would have _3-foot tall talking pickle ninjas_ for minions to deliver my wrath because _1. They’re acerbic, and 2, who doesn’t want to see a talking pickle?  (And remember, sea monkeys are already spoken for. Mostly)

Sea Monkeys are to _acrylic paints_ as zombie stinkbugs are to _graphite_.

A.Q. - Please tell us where we can find out more about you and where we can buy your books.

Catch me on my blog, or find my books on Amazon.

A.Q. - Thanks again for stopping in! And all y'all out there, check out this awesome giveaway!

a Rafflecopter giveaway