You'll Be Missed, Jack

I was at a funeral today for a very close friend of the family. I'd known him all my life. He was a Marine. A World War II veteran. A great friend. A fantastic neighbor. And a wonderful man.

Jack always had a smile and a friendly story. He worked for a tire manufacturer. But he was the kind of man who, when you were around him, made you want to stand a little straighter, and do a little better.

He was a Marine guard at Camp David for several years. And he had one of the loudest whistles you ever heard. To all the kids in the neighborhood, that was its own brand of magic.

He enjoyed big cars. I remember in particular one sky blue Oldsmobile he had. He would shine it up every week. And when at seven or eight years old I'd go over to help, he'd let me wash the hubcaps. Then he'd point with pride to the small spots where the paint  had been marred by tape. Each a badge of honor for where it had been decorated for one of his kids' or grand kids' weddings.

We stood in the freezing snow today as two Marines folded an American flag, while a third played Taps. And when it was presented to his oldest son, my brother and I cried. We knew a great and humble man was laid to rest. Jack, you will be missed.

Sara Walter Ellwood Gambling On A Secret Author Interview

Please welcome Sara Walter Ellwood to Tongue in Cheek today.

A.Q. - Thanks for agreeing to answer some interview questions about yourself and your new book.

S.W.E. - Thanks for having me here today, Ava!

A.Q. - So, What is your book about? 

S.W.E. - Sure, Gambling On A Secret is a contemporary western romantic suspense. Here’s the blurb and excerpt.

Blurb:

When Charli bets everything on a secret, will she find the deck stacked against her?

Former runaway-turned heiress Charli Monroe is hiding her sordid past and planning a future in Colton, Texas. Attending the local college for a degree in social work, she intends to raise cattle on her newly purchased ranch, which she plans to open as a home for troubled teens. Only a few glitches—the Victorian mansion is crumbling, the barn needs a roof, and her oilman neighbor wants more than friendship. When she meets Dylan Quinn, Charli is willing to take a chance on the town drunk to help her rebuild the rundown ranch.

Dylan has his demons, too. The former Special Forces commander can’t get past his ex-wife’s betrayal and the botched mission that left him with much more than a bad limp. Certain the greedy oilman next door to Charli wants much more than just her heart, Dylan’s even willing to stop drinking in order to protect her.

When things get dangerous and secrets of the past are revealed, is he only looking out for his new employer, or is she the new start he so desperately needs?

Excerpt:

“Ferguson, what are you doing here?” Dylan barked.

Leon ambled toward them on the stone path. “I’m saving a young maiden from torment. What are you doing here, playing the part of the devil?”

“I’m Miss Monroe’s new manager.” The deadly edge of his voice matched the flintiness of his eyes. “If there’s anyone to save the young maiden from, it’s you.”

“Mr. Quinn, please.” She turned to Leon. “Leon, is there something I can do for you?”

He smiled, showing off perfect white teeth in a face handsome enough to belong to an actor. “I was just passing by on my way home and decided to stop. How are the boys working out?”

Dylan’s stance widened and his hands flexed at his sides. “What boys?”

“Charli and I have entered into a business arrangement.”

She lost the battle with the urge to wrap her arms around herself. As much as she appreciated Leon’s kindness, respected him, and was even a little attracted to him, something about him didn’t sit right with her. He represented her peers in the community. According to Mrs. Pratt, besides the Cartwrights, she and Leon were undoubtedly the wealthiest residents in the county. No one in Colton could learn about her past. It would ruin her, and Leon, no doubt, had the means to dig up the dirt.

“Really?” Dylan stepped closer to her in a protective manner. Whiskey tainted his breath as the warmth of the exhalations tickled her cheek. “What kind of business arrangement?”

She could protect herself. Dylan Quinn wasn’t any safer than Leon Ferguson. Stepping away from him, she forced her arms to her sides. “Mr. Quinn, I can handle this.”

She faced Leon. “I’m amazed by how much the men got done since starting on Monday. The foreman told me last evening they’d be reseeding another fifty acres for hay this morning. And they have the corrals fixed and started on the fencing in the north pasture.”

“Good, good.” He glanced at Dylan. “I’ll be going, unless you need a more reliable exterminator. I couldn’t help but overhear about your snake infestation. I can give you the name of the company that has gotten rid of the snakes in our lakes over on Oak Springs for years.”

Although he presented the perfect solution, she didn’t the like way Leon had looked at Dylan as he said the word exterminator. “No, Mr. Quinn is quite capable of getting rid of the snake.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is.” Leon tipped his hat. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you, Charli.” Dylan’s jaw tightened as his uncle glanced at him. “It’s good to see you up among the living again.”

Leon headed back to his Porsche. With no pretense of lowering his voice, Dylan said, “Now, there’s a snake no one wants in their garden.”

Upon hearing the jibe, Leon’s shoulders jerked in mid-stride.

Rattled by Leon’s attention and the snake fiasco, she turned on Dylan. “You aren’t off the hook. I want those snakes gone.”

“We’ll see.”

“I hate snakes.” She shuddered and put her hands on her hips. “Maybe I should have asked him who the exterminator is.”

A.Q. - Can you share an interesting behind the scenes tidbit about your story?

S.W.E. - The original title of the book was “Butterfly”, which reflected how I came up with the story after watching a butterfly hatch from its cocoon, and the theme of changing into something better which is heavy in the plot of the book. But my editor said, (rightfully so) “Butterfly” would never suit for a western title. So, she suggested trying to tie the books together with a common word in the title. I came up with “gambling” because the history of the three main families in the books are tied to three gamblers who won the county land in a poker game. Within a few minutes I had titles for all six books---Gambling On A Secret, Gambling On A Heart (releasing 9/2013), Gambling On A Dream, Gambling On A Wish, Gambling On A Song, and Gambling On A Lady.

A.Q. - What is your favorite part of the story writing process?

S.W.E. - Believe it or not, but I love the revision/editing process. I find writing the first draft painful at times, but I love to edit and polish that horrible rough draft into a book.

A.Q. - Writing can be such an isolated enterprise. Yet, I’m sure there are people who have helped, guided or inspired you along the way to becoming a published author. Could you tell us about one of them and how they helped you?

S.W.E. - There are several people who stand out, but my very good friends and critique partners D’Ann Lindun, Martha Ramirez and Carol Grosser have been wonderful and helped shape the writer I am today. They each bring something different to my writing and I value their opinions greatly

A.Q. - What are you working on now/next?

S.W.E. - Right now, I’m working on two projects at once—book 3 of the Colton Gamblers called Gambling On A Dream and a standalone I plan to shop around to agents called A Family for Jesse. Both are contemporary western romantic suspenses.

Now for the S.A.T. portion of the interview:

Fill in the blank –

If I were a villain, I would have __cute little puppies and kittens__ for minions to deliver my wrath because __everyone loves puppies and kittens—so they are the perfect Trojan Horse__.  
(And remember, sea monkeys are already spoken for. Mostly)

Sea Monkeys are to ____________ as zombie stinkbugs are to ________________. 

 I have no freakin’ idea!!!!  Sorry.

A.Q. - Please tell us where we can find out more about you and where we can buy your books.

Sara Walter Ellwood is an award winning author whose novel Gambling On A Secret was named by bestselling author Carolyn Brown in the Happy Ever After Blog on USA Today as one of her favorite romances of 2012. Although Sara has long ago left the farm for the glamour of the big town, she draws on her experiences growing up on a small hobby farm in West Central Pennsylvania to write her stories. She’s been married to her college sweetheart for nearly 20 years, and they have two teenagers and one very spoiled rescue cat named Penny. She longs to visit the places she writes about and jokes she’s a cowgirl at heart stuck in Pennsylvania suburbia.

            

She also writes paranormal romantic suspense under the pen name of Cera duBois.

Buy Links:

Lyrical Press 

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

BookStrand

Author links:

Website: http://www.sarawalterellwood.com

Blog: http://www.sarawalterellwood.com/blog/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/sarawalterellwood.ceradubois/

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/sara_w_ellwood

A.Q. - Thanks again for stopping in!

You bet!!!

Big Orange is in the Clear. It's That Other One

Some of you may remember that the sea monkey tribe that lives in my bathtub made a territory grab last summer and infiltrated the fish tank. (click for back story) I immediately suspected that the sea monkeys had turned the enormous carny goldfish to the Wet Side. And believe me, they tried. But Big Orange remained true blue and wouldn't flip on the family.

Not so for the other one.

The sea monkeys could ride that bad boy to world domination. (Note their eerie foggy presence.)

The white and orange fish apparently feels it's better than the other one since it came from a garden store. Because of this uppidy notion, he's thrown his lot in with the sea monkeys. How do I know, you may ask? Because of the sucking.

Yes. Sucking.

The smaller one (which is now almost the size of the bigger one) rises to the top of the tank and sucks its little brains out, making a loud slapping sound. It's freakishly loud! You can hear it all over the house! I mean the sea monkeys with their warbling tribal chants has nothing on this thing.

And it's driving me crazy. Ipso facto, the sea monkeys. They're behind this for sure.

So again, I'll need to go on the offensive. I'm ready to submerge an operative from the Gnome Underground Network (G.U.N.) in the tank to do a little "wet work" for me.

But for now, I'll only have time to do a quick tidy up since author Sara Walter Ellwood will be visiting Tongue in Cheek tomorrow. Stop back to check out her interview and newest release.

Until then, Citizens!

An Author Is Coming! An Author is Coming!

Author Alert (woooop woooop woooop!)* (What? That's my best Star Trek red alert sound.)

Sara Walter Ellwood, contemporary western romance author will be stopping by next week to run the gauntlet of Tongue in Cheek author interview questions as well as the sea monkey S.A.T.s. You don't want to miss that!



*See? I sounded just like Star Trek.



And you doubted me. Ha!

Those Blues Storytellers

A few years ago I wrote a small post on my admiration for the blues and their creative turns of phrases. But the storytelling that goes on in those songs always astounds me. The vivid descriptions with few words is something I hope to come close to some day in my own writing.

Here's Shemekia Copeland, an outstanding blues singer whom I've admired for years, performing Never Going Back to Memphis.



The full version of this song on her album is a little over seven minutes and well worth it.

My favorite lines-
There wasn't a thing that man couldn't sell ya.

Cops walked in
Dog pullin' on a chain
Lookin' for a woman ran in from the rain
They sat out front eating fried chicken
While I sat shivering in a shed out behind the kitchen.

And that final verse gives me goosebumps
 
The river is risin'
Sky's gettin' darker
My mind keeps playin'
some old Junior Parker
Three days waitin'
All alone by the tracks
Lyin' to myself that man's coming back
He said he'd come around unless he was dead
guess he took another woman or a bullet in the head
I'm never goin' back to Memphis.

I love to listen to the lyrics of a song. The Man usually disregards most of the lyrics and focuses in on the melody. What do you primarily tune in to when listening to music? Are there any songs right now that you're really into? I'd love to expand my repertoire. So lay them on me in the comments.

Damn Deer

So I got T-boned by a deer tonight as I ferried the oldest Urchin to dance class. It ran right into the side of the minivan, crunching the handle of the sliding door.

Sigh.

There's still a tuft of fur jammed in the side of said door handle. It was one of those times when there was nothing I could have done. It shot out of the woods at top speed like the hounds of Hell were on its heels. Or at least a pack of ill-tempered and slightly rabid squirrels. And head butted the side of the van. I saw it get up and move off in the rear view as I kept going.

At least the person tailgating me in the snowfall didn't run it over. They were (barely) able to stop in time.

All in all, it could have been much worse.

So, any deer collisions in your past?

Dancing Inspiration

I've been having a better 2013. Thanks for asking. My writing has been progressing, and I've been writing much more consistently this month.

But I've also become much busier. I need to take my mother's advice when someone asks me to volunteer for one more thing. She told me, "No, is a complete sentence." No further explanation or expounding necessary.

So here's what extra I'm doing in 2013. I'm the president of my local chapter of RWA. (Which has really taken up a good chunk of my time with some new projects/problems dropped in my lap.) I'm coordinating my daughters' school off site environmental field day. Including the development of curriculum related activities/outdoor lessons that are aligned to the state Science and Environmental standards. Which I will then teach volunteers how to implement. Provided I can round up said volunteers. And I volunteer in both my daughter's classrooms at least once a week.

This isn't including all the taxiing of the urchins to their Brownie meetings/activities, dance classes and public library activities.

I think I'm going to have to disappoint the blue haired old lady contingency and bow out of the New Years Eve committee for this year.

So I was looking for some inspiration and came across this.



Which reminded me of this video by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.



Which had me remembering this happy skippy little ditty by them that I love.



Which lifted my spirits and made me want to get up and dance on my own.

So life is good. Busy, but good. Hope 2013 is treating you right!

Got much going on right now? Something making you get up and dance? Do share!

Girls Night In at Chez Quinn

The Man, God love him, works full time teaching and part time on the camera crew for the local AHL (hockey) team.Which means he works for them on weekends.

Which means the Urchins and I get to do special Mommy girly things. Now if you've been around here for a while, you know several things. A) I'm not right in the head. 2) I'm not very girly (I get a haircut once a year and ride a motorcycle for crying out loud.) III) I work hard to not be my demographic. I run around yelling SKEW! SKEW! wherever I go. It's my goal in life to be that one outlying statistic that throws off everyone's data.

So it will come as no surprise that Girls Night In was quite different than what poor unsuspecting people who stumble upon this blog might think. But as we all know, Tongue in Cheek is not for the faint of heart or the uninitiated.

To the question, "What do you want to do for girls night in?" I receive the instantaneous and deafening duet of "STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!" (yes, it needs that many exclamation marks to really get across the decibel level that was reached.)

And so it was that after an all-Urchin request dinner of peanut butter sandwiches on potato rolls and new England clam chowder. Washed down with peanut brittle and fruit leather. (I abstained from the fruit leather.) We snoogled up on the couch under copious blankets with each other and our stuffed animal of choice and watched the original Star Wars.

The oldest Urchin, who is eight, watches in enraptured and reverent silence for the duration. With only a few words of praise for the cleverness of Princess Leia and the dreaminess of Luke Skywalker.

The youngest Urchin, however, cannot last more than a minute without asking something. It's mainly, "What did R2D2 just say?" Or the closely related, "What did Chewbacca just say?" To which after 100 askings I replied, "He said, 'tell the Youngest Urchin to be quiet.'" Which elicits some very Chewbacca like noises and a brandished fist from the five year old.

But a good time was had by all. And the next morning, I initiated them into the wonderful world of Mark Hamill on The Muppet Show.



I thought the oldest Urchin was going to keel over from laughing so hard. A girl after my own heart.

I have to admit, I am of an age where I saw the original Star Wars and this episode of the Muppet Show when they came out. And they made a big impression on me. But now, hands down, my favorite viewings of these were this past weekend.

So what are your fondest Star Wars memories?

T.i.C. 2012 in Review- Finally

So have you noticed that I haven't been very keen on reviewing last year? The hostile polka takeover notwithstanding, it was one of the hardest years of my life. I'm trying to change my perception of it and look on the bright side. My oldest daughter and my father DIDN'T die in the same week. And I had a whole extra year with my beloved dog. But I'm not quite there yet. So let's do this thing.

Here is a truncated version of what went on at Tongue in Cheek during 2012.

January
I handed over my taxidermied 'Possum Queen crown to the 2012 winner. I extolled the virtues of the band OK Go. And I gave the 2011 wrap up. Also late. Hmm, I'm seeing a trend.

February
In February, the first rumblings of discontent in the Eastern European Polka community reached my trailerhood. I got an awesome Valentine's Day present from The Man. I ruminated on the different search items that got you to me (including possum ninja and big belly overalls.). And I had my annual Groundhog Day freakout.

March
The Polka terrorists took over Tongue in Cheek. (I advise against watching the clip. I'd hate to be responsible for what happens.) I was able to get a message out to my loyal readers that the Polka Mafia was going down. The Polka Empire struck back. But the gnomes and rednecks were victorious in the end. Though not without some casualties.

April
The party celebrating the definitive victory over the lederhosen wearing enemy went on for days. I finally had to boot out the squatters. Then since you, gentle readers, were exposed to large doses of polka due to the takeover, I felt it my duty to stage a group polka intervention. I then obsessed about my writing.

May
In May I went to the local roller derby to watch a bout. It was awesome. My BFF went mad, demanding that we would be going mechanical bull riding. Then my father had a heart attack. And then just a few days later my oldest had an emergency appendectomy that became very complicated.

June
Got the oldest Urchin home and repaid all your kind words with reruns for the rest of the month. Sorry about that, but things were a bit busy with recovery efforts.

July
The oldest Urchin had a six week recovery time, plus easing back into things slowly after that, so July is also a bit sparse. Though, of course the sea monkeys, who always fight dirty, made a territory grab that month. They expanded their terrain from the upstairs bathtub to the fish tank. They are still continuing their efforts to control the freakishly large carny goldfish living there.

August
August brought a real grab bag of musings. I postulated on Sea Monkeys and carny food as I prepared for the fair in the back yard. I went to the roller derby again. And I harkened back to my old boy bands of yore. Menudo anyone?

September
September brought more roller derby, vigilante knitters, and more Sea Monkeys. Among other things.

October
In October, I showed signs of getting old, my mother came to visit, spurring a new hobby interest that involves roadkill, and I wished you a happy Halloween Ray Harryhousen style.

November
Author Delynn Royer stopped by and answered the standard interview questions here at Tongue in Cheek. She scored well on the Sea Monkey S.A.T. portion. I shared some music from modern blues singer, Seasick Steve and bemoaned the evilness of voice mail. I supported some local authors (Natalie Damschroder and Megan Hart) at their book signing. And strange things were heard from the back of the minivan.

December
I lost the best dog I'd ever known to cancer and I turned into a chrysalis. Again.

So there it is in all its nut shell glory. A brief recap of 2012 here at Tongue in Cheek. I hope last year treated you better than it did me.

Here's to a happy, healthy 2013 for all!

Bratz-Precursors to the Alien Takeover

It has long been my belief that Bratz were invented to smooth the way for a hostile alien invasion. Their rise in popularity will make the masses much more accepting of their new alien overlords.

Check out the similarities in their physical features.

Pic from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bratz

Note both possess the abnormally large slanted eyes. The lack of a definitive nose. The tiny body with huge head. Glam up this green one and you'd have a ringer. Wait, they already did that!

pic from the bestdolldress

So now they are beginning the subjugation of the younger generation through savvy toy marketing. You can tell they've done their homework. They know us well.

I of course, envision something like this happening in the very near future.

And have already begun programming my own urchins against the indoctrination of alien space invaders. Every time they see a Bratz or their equally evil counterparts from monster high, they immediately say things like, "Eeeew, Mommy. Look! They're so ugly!"

And it makes my heart glow with paternal pride that I have given them the rudimentary defense against the impending alien invasion.

Up soon, the Tongue in Cheek 2012 year in review post. Until then, Citizens!