Friday, April 11, 2014

AtoZ James Brown Translated For Minors

 Hello AtoZ hoppers! Glad you stopped in to Tongue In Cheek where everything is true, except for the stuff that isn't. Today's rerun comes from 2010 and contains sage parenting advice. I hope you enjoy...

James Brown Translated For Minors

As we drove home listening to Funky Friday on WXPN Philadelphia, James Brown came on. And the following conversation ensued.

Oldest Urchin (6 y.o.) - Mommy, what's a sex machine?
Me - That's not what he's singing, honey. He's saying fax machine.
O.U. - *long pause*
Me - *sweating profusely and averting all eye contact in the darkened interior of the front seat*
O.U. - Oh. Ok.
My profuse relief was interrupted as The Man leaned over and sniffed the air around me.
T.M. - I think I smell burning pants.
Me - *through clenched teeth* Lying is a perfectly acceptable tool in the parental arsenal when emergencies, such as the one that was just averted, arise.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Sophie Duncan said...

LOL! Lying to children is totally allowed when getting out of a situation like that - quick thinking! ;P
Sophie's Thoughts & Fumbles - A to Z Ghosts
Fantasy Boys XXX - A to Z Drabblerotic

Jenna,Mark Drady said...

Haha!! Great post!!! Thanks for coming by my blog today! Have a great weekend!
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!

M.J. Fifield said... mean he isn't singing "fax machine"?

Oh—now everything just makes so much more sense!

Jeremy [Retro] said...

Awesome... post!

Thank you for being part of the "AtoZ Challenge", please stop on over to my site[s] and say "Hello"!

Jeremy [Retro]
AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2014]

Old is the New Cool...

Kristin Smith said...

Haha!! That is too funny! I agree with you, sometimes we have to "protect" our little ones ...AND our own rears!

Liz Blocker said...

LOL!!!! Get on up like a fax machine, huh?? That is AWESOME. Quick thinking there, lady! And I agree. Lying is a perfectly acceptable parenting tool. (And I'm still laughing)

Lexa Cain said...

Hahahahaha!! At least someone understood Brown's lyrics. There are a ton of singers, including Michael Jackson, who sing indecipherable lyrics. Then you HAVE to make up the words. ;)

randi lee said...

LOL! This belongs in a coffee table book about funny kid stories. I don't know what I would have said...or if I'd have fainted at the question!

Andrew Leon said...

The name of my daughter's softball coach this year is James Brown. My wife and I find it amusing, but we haven't, yet, made any jokes about it. At least, not in front of him.

Delynn Royer said...

Lol! You're a quick thinking mommy. This post must have been before I became a loyal fan of TIC. Otherwise, I would have remembered it. Even now—-only a few years later--I bet most of our young ‘uns wouldn’t know what a fax machine is either. But it would still be a heck of lot easier to explain than that “other thing.” :)

Ava Quinn said...

@ Sophie- Thanks. I was sweating bullets for a minute or two though! lol!

@Jenna- Any time! I enjoy the puppy dog posts, even though my two beloved border collies recently passed.

@M.J. lol! Glad I could help clear that up!

@Jeremy- Thanks...for stopping by.

@Kristin- So glad someone understands! lol!

@Liz- lol! Thanks, Liz!! :D

@Lexa- Exactly! Of all the times for my child to actually understand what James Brown was saying!

@randi lee- LOL!!

@Andrew- You obviously have much more self restraint than I do on this issue. lol.

@Delynn- Thanks! Yes, I'm serving up some oldies but goodies. I even found one that Sue Gourley hasn't seen, and she's been here since practically the beginning!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Your pants are on fire! I can't think of any car conversations to compare to that one.

debi o'neille said...

Hah! Sex machine/fax machine. Hee! The things we tell our kids. And the things they tell us. Our youngest two were arguing in in the back seat once, and the older one titled on the other, "She said the T-word. My husband and I were racking our brains trying to figure out what the T-word was and finally I asked our daughter, and she said, "Toot. She farted and laughed about it, and then said she only tooted."
My imagination had taken me to other words, so this was a relief.

Lynda Dietz said...

We've had so many moments of being caught unaware by song lyrics in the car with the kids. My favorite was not a bad one, but just funny. "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight" came on the car radio, and our boys (5 and 7 at the time and into everything that had to do with pirates, ships, and sharks) started screaming, "YUCK! Weigh chum tonight? Why would anyone think it's fun to weigh chum?" They were absolutely grossed out.

Jodie said...

Haha that is hilarious. What a cute story.

Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

LOL - that's very funny :) It's only a white lie ::g::
Tasha's Thinkings - AtoZ (Vampires)
FB3X - AtoZ (Erotic Drabbles)

Sunday Visitor said...

Must complement you on your quick thinking, Good Job!!

Ava Quinn said...

@Sue- LOL! Yes they are. ;)

@Debi- LOL! I bet it was a relief!

@Lynda- HAHAHA! That is a priceless story!

@Jodie- Thanks! :)

@Tasha- Yeah, just a little one. :)

@Sunday Visitor- Thanks!:D

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, that's funny! Why is it children always latch onto the one phrase you'd rather they didn;t hear? ;)

Flip x

Mars said...

Giggling here, nice save!

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