Saturday, April 19, 2014

AtoZ 'Possum Queen Pimpin'

Q for Queen here for AtoZ today. Glad you stopped in on this awesome blog hop. Here at Tongue In Cheek I'm taking a walk down memory lane by revisiting some of the crazier adventures that have happen over here. We're currently ensconced in my reign as the county 'Possum Queen. So enjoy these two posts detailing the goings ons in my trailerhood.

Derelict 'Possum Queen

I've been very derelict in my 'Possum Queen duties as of late. So I figured I'd give you a special behind the scenes glimpse of the pageant.

There were many qualified contestants. Vera, for instance. She was some tough competition.

Here was one of our distinguished judges.

The talent competition was fierce. Between the hog calling and tying, the bologna frying and the goat yodeling, it definitely wasn't a cake walk. In the end, Berthalynn and her toilet seat/horseshoe throwing skills took it. Don't be confused by the mustache, folks. She's a sweet gal and a helluva kisser.

I was honored to receive the coveted crown from last year's 'Possum Queen, Pattikins Parker.

My lawn bowling experience and familiarity with pink flamingos pushed me over the top, though. As stated before, it didn't hurt that I had all my own teeth. It was a bit of a struggle to get the crown to stay on along with my pointy hat, but I think the over all effect was rather enticing.

Since I'm supposed to talk more about the merits of 'possum meat, I'll save the pictures of the bathing suit competition for a later date.

With Groundhog Day here and taking all the glory right now, the Eatin' 'Possum Council would like me, their current County 'Possum Queen, to say a few words about the varied possum-bilites of the edible possum - "The Third White Meat, Sorta".

There's broiled 'possum and grilled 'possum and don't forget canned creamed 'possum on toast, affectionately referred to as CRaP on a shingle. There's also fried bologna and possum casserole - heavy on the mayo- with potato chip crust.

So in your Super Bowl and Ground Hog Day festivities, don't forget to have some 'possum lying round the table for the party! I'm sure your guests will thank you.

Diversified 'Possum Uses

As the county's reigning 'Possum Queen for the Pot Bellied Processed 'Possum Products Company (tm), it was pointed out to me in the fine print of my contract that I should be endorsing, not only the company's fine product line of canned 'possum delights, but doing my "darned-tootinest" to further the best image of 'possum and 'possum related products.

So to that end, I offer my 'possummy endorsement of the following 'possum products and organization.

First and foremost, there's The Opossum Society of the United States. Though they focus more on keeping opossums alive instead of ingesting them.

You can also show your support by wearing your opossum on your sleeve, or wherever else you may want to.

Girls, let the world (or at least your trailer park) know of your 'possum pride. Announce your love of all things 'possum across your chest.

Guys, let the neighbors know just what you're grilling on the back porch.

Don't forget the special sauce!

For that touch of class, gents, you can always import your possum for that distinguished look to let your redneck town know you're a cut above the rest.

And ladies, for the ever discerning gal who endeavors to be her trailer park's trend setter, may I suggest 'possum nipple warmers? You'll be the envy of your trailerhood.

I know not much can follow that major statement of female 'possum fashion, but not to be outdone, men, you can even get a 'Possum Fur Willie Warmer. Apparently in several different sizes and colors.

So there you have it, folks. Your very own picture pile of 'possummy products. Let me know which are your favorites! I just can't decide.


Pat Hatt said...

Excuse me well I go wash my eyes out lol

40Plus Teenager said...

Andrea said...

Wow! Some of those warmer colors are totally classy!!!! I saw the possum drop on Honey BooBoo...oops, I mean I heard about it!

debi o'neille said...

Hah funny. And great photos. Loved the overalls. Now who can I give a pair to? :-)

Lexa Cain said...

Congrats on the Possum Queen crown! I'd never have believed about the nipple and willie warmers if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. :O

Liz Blocker said...

Just when I thought things couldn't get any more ridiculous - oops, I mean, AWESOME, of course - you pull out the nipple and winky warmers. Well done, my friend. Well done.

LOL, as always :)

Sherry Ellis said...

People actually eat possums?

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

There are things in this word well beyond the capabilities of my imagination. Willy warmer? Really?

Lynda Dietz said...

Each picture only caused me to jump to the next one faster, though I'm torn about choosing a favorite. Is it the hillbilly overalls? Or the great kisser with the toilet seat toss? Nope, it's the former queen who looks like she's sitting on the toilet. Class act, that one.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahahaha this did make my day. :-D

Cathrina Constantine said...

Thanks for the chuckle, Ava!

Chrys Fey said...

This pageant looks like a riot! haha Thank you for the laughs.

Ava Quinn said...

@Pat- Good luck with ridding yourself of THOSE images.

@40Plus- lol!!

@Andrea- Aren't they though? Is that the live 'possum new year's eve drop? I'm still mad at them for not inviting me to officiate it.

@debi- I'm sure you'll find!

@Lexa- Thanks! Yes, aren't they something? Which is why they got my possumy endorsement. lol

@Liz- Thanks! It's great that my ridiculousness is so appreciated. ;D

@Sherry- yup! I even posted possum recipes during the year of my reign. Along with my own commentary about them.

@Sue- What will they think of next?

@Lynda- LOL It's really hard to choose, I know.

@Mischa- So glad! :D

@Cathrina- Glad I could oblige! ;D

@Chrys- It was epic in its own backwoods way.

Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

Possum nipple warmers? Possum willie warmer? I think it's awesome they come in such a variety of colours! :)
Tasha's Thinkings - AtoZ (Vampires)
FB3X - AtoZ (Erotic Drabbles)

Mina Burrows said...

Bahahahahaa!! That was hilarious! I'm on Possum overload now. LOL!

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