Thursday, April 17, 2014

AtoZ- (O)Possum Queen

Helloooooo AtoZers! I'm so glad I signed up for the AtoZ challenge, brain child of Arlee Bird. I hope you've been enjoying all the cool cats that have joined in on the fun. There's a list to the right in my sidebar of all the participants. Just click on the badge to check them out.

I'm deep in the middle of all my environmental field day planning and manufacturing. (315 elementary kids, 43 parent volunteers, 14 science stations, 2 days, 1 outdoor state park. And a committee of ONE. That would be me. I'm tearing my hair out at the moment.) So please forgive me for not visiting and responding right now. I will be getting back to all of you and following you all if I can (I don't have a wordpress or facebook page, so those are tougher for me to figure out how to follow, but I'll be over to comment in the near future.) I'm sooo thankful for the comments from you guys. I swear that's the only thing keeping me going at the moment.

Anywaaayyy...here at Tongue In Cheek, my AtoZ theme is past zaniness from the years I've been blogging. So today we have a post from 2010. In that year, I began my reign as the county's 'Possum Queen. Here are my first statements as Trailer Trash Royalty.

As The New Reigning 'Possum Queen . . .

I would like to make my first official comments to the world. First of all, I'd like to thank the community who attended the Moonshine and Fried Possum Carnival for all your heartfelt, yet odoriferous votes. As I stood on the Pot Bellied 'Possum stage with the other contestants, waiting for last year's queen to place her hand above my head so you all could belch your approval, tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. To be the recipient of the loudest belches from the crowd and thereby earning the crown was an experience I will never forget.

Then, to have the Pot Bellied Pooh Bah in his possum fur covered fez lead you all in the 'Possum Salute as I took my first walk wearing the Possum crown across the dais, well, there just aren't words. The silent mock death salute with raised hands curled, eyes rolled back and tongues hanging in the breeze- it's just too much to take.

And the crown! The taxidermist that created it with the mama possum saluting at the front and all her babies doing the salute perched on her back as they peek around her? It's just breath taking. And I've never seen rhinestones used in such a unique way before. I'll wear it to all my Pot Bellied 'Possum functions knowing that every 'Possum Queen before me wore it with pride.

Now for the naysayers out there. You know who you are (Berthalynn and Elmeretta). I did not win because I was the only contestant with all her teeth. I'll have you know that I also shave my armpits and have mastered the mysteries of the bathtub. So back off!

As for my duties as this year's reigning 'Possum Queen. I swore the oath to do my darned tootin-est to represent the entire line of canned Pot Bellied Processed 'Possum Products to the best of my ability. From Creamed 'Possum to 'Possum Roadkill Stew. From hash to grits and all affiliated gravies and desserts in between. I will do it with possum pride in my heart. Thank you for voting me your new 'Possum Queen. I salute you!

7 comments:

Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

Oh my lord, that's one scary arsed looking critter in that photo. So many teeth :). Good luck with your environmental field day planning - I hope it all turns out really well.
Tasha
Tasha's Thinkings - AtoZ (Vampires)
FB3X - AtoZ (Erotic Drabbles)

Lynda Dietz said...

Winning because you have all your teeth is still an honor; don't downplay it.

As Jed Clampett used to say, "The good thing about 'possum innards is that they's just as good the second day."

Pat Hatt said...

i hope you aren't made to look like that too lol if so, may want to get a haircut

Liz Blocker said...

Can you please, please, please put this character in a book? Pretty please? Because I want to read MORE.

Also, this just made my day: "Now for the naysayers out there. You know who you are (Berthalynn and Elmeretta). I did not win because I was the only contestant with all her teeth. I'll have you know that I also shave my armpits and have mastered the mysteries of the bathtub. So back off!"

Still laughing. Right now.

Lexa Cain said...

"The mysteries of the bathtub" - hysterical! Great post!

Wishing you the best of luck with the park-environmental thing. :)

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I loved your possum queen reign. When will you be eligible again?

40Plus Teenager said...

All hail the queen of Possum...

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