Tuesday, April 22, 2014

AtoZ Super Villain Plans

Hi there, AtoZ Challengers and any other happy campers who've happened upon Tongue In Cheek. Today we take a stroll down TiC memory lane with two posts written in 2010 when I decided to broaden my horizons and wrath delivery options by becoming a super villain.

My Evil Plans Are Coming Together

So I haven't been around in the internets for a while. I've been up to no good, of course. Most recently I've been studying up over at ISS (International Society of Supervillains). I've been busy taking the evil ranking quiz, checking out the faq, designing and discarding different costuming ideas. You know, the usual.

You may ask what brought on such drastic and evil preparations, but there's no one concrete event. I'm just getting ready for the distribution of my wrath when I reach the very edge and am thrust over into the boiling chasm of evil. It's always good policy to be prepared.

I'm attempting to convert the sea monkeys to my will. Many, I know, would mock the seemingly wuss-like reputation of the sea monkeys. Only I understand the full range of their power. Only I understand their determination. Only I understand their need to spread their slimy society like a virus until it covers the Earth! Soon I will be their mistress, and they will deliver my wrath! Bwa haa haa haaaaacoughcoughcough!

Uh. whoops. Heh, heh. Did I blog that out loud? Never mind. Condition normal. All is well. Back to the grind!

Super Villain Update

 So the Super Villain plans are on the back burner right now. My negotiations with the sea monkeys are bogged down in lawyer speak. The sea monkeys, which hitherto will be referred to as the first party, have resisted my attempts at a hostile take over and flat out refuse to become my minions. Sigh. I was so sure I could bend them to my will.

Also, the costuming is becoming a problem as I field test. Each material has its own unique set of advantages and disadvantages. Leather, which had been my first pick, really doesn't breathe well. And it constricts movement. So my kung-fu actions would be hindered. Though it does afford a certain amount of protection, especially if I decide that a motorcycle will be my main form of transportation. Spandex, on the other hand, allows for free range of motion, yet no protection whatsoever. Plus, I just don't have the body for it any more. I mean, I want to be taken seriously as a major player in the realm of Super Villains, right?

Also, in my sea monkey negotiations, they want a nod. One of their demands is that I must wear a sea monkey crest or logo of some sort. And while I have a long history of battling sea monkeys and am aware of their wily and nefarious nature, their PR people are just too darn good. For years they've been cleaning up their image. I mean, you tell me, how is this supposed to strike fear into the hearts of an unsuspecting populace?

So I'm stalled. I'm sure everything will turn out all right in the end and my minions will come online. And the costuming issues will fall into place. Until then, I guess I'll just have to be patient.

But, faithful legions, I would appreciate your input on an impromptu poll regarding my costuming and transportation issues. Please select your favorite from each category. Post your selections to the comments. All opinions welcome. Thanks, and have a slimy sea monkey day!

amphibious landing craft
armored personnel carrier
Vespa and water wings

Costume material
sea weed
breathable 100% cotton

Sea monkey logo
just the head with crown
crossed tridents with sea monkey hand, head, pet sea horse and castle in the four spaces to form a shield crest
Stylized SMW which stands for Sea Monkey Woman


Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

You might like to try evil genius rather than being a supervillain; much easier to sit in the background and let someone else do all the up front stuff. You can also have a really cool costume and not have to worry about protection. All you have to do is find someone willing to do monologues and you're set - they don't have to be too bright :). Might still have the problem of minions though.
Tasha's Thinkings - AtoZ (Vampires)
FB3X - AtoZ (Erotic Drabbles)

Pat Hatt said...

You are going to become a bad saturday morning cartoon villain? I'll call the ninja turtles

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Leather on the motorcycle for sure. Go for it, evil queen.

Julie Flanders said...

I don't know what's funnier, the post itself or the newspaper pic of the sea monkeys. Classic. I feel like I remember seeing that ad!

Crystal Collier said...

Hah! You forgot to bribe the sea monkeys with cheese, didn't you?

(I'm all for crossed tridents and leather.)

Stephanie Faris said...

What fun! I love the clipping. My choices:

amphibious landing craft

Costume material
sea weed

Sea monkey logo
just the head with crown

Liz Blocker said...

I'm with Susan. Nothing's more badass than leather on a motorcycle - unless you add in SEA MONKEYS, of course. How evil genius of you.

Andrea said...

I think that sea monkey graphic is super threatening...especially tthe possibiity of what is hiding behind that one's tail....going with vespa and seaweed and that coy sea moneky guy on the left

Lexa Cain said...

Gah! The Sea Monkeys are coming! Don't believe the lawyers - obvious sympathizers - or the propaganda where they look so cute. Lies! All lies! It's weapons that you need. Plungers and bleach should do the trick. Good luck!

Mina Burrows said...

I've seen that sea monkey's image before. LOL!

I'd go for a evil genius. Those have more fun, I think.

S. L. Hennessy said...

OH MY GOD. An International Society of Supervillains? Seriously? This is the most amazing thing I have ever heard of. I wrote a novel about supervillains so I am ALWAYS a fan of supervillan societies.

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