Thursday, April 3, 2014

AtoZ - Conspiracy Theories

Welcome to day 3 of the AtoZ Challenge which brings us to the letter C. If you've spent any time at all here at Tongue In Cheek, you've come to find out that I have a mess of conspiracy theories bouncing around in my head. (One of my earliest posts from 2008 asks the hard question, Is Redneck Contagious?) But today, I'll treat you with one of my recent posts from 2013 wherein I attempt to warn the populace about...

Bratz, The Precursors to the Alien Invasion

It has long been my belief that Bratz were invented to smooth the way for a hostile alien invasion. Their rise in popularity will make the masses much more accepting of their new alien overlords.

Check out the similarities in their physical features.

pic from

Note both possess the abnormally large slanted eyes. The lack of a definitive nose. The tiny body with huge head. Glam up this green one and you'd have a ringer. Wait, they already did that!

pic from the bestdolldress

So now they're beginning the subjugation of the younger generation through savvy toy marketing. You can tell they've done their homework. They know us well.

I of course, envision something like this happening in the very near future.

And have already begun programming my own Urchins against the indoctrination of alien space invaders. Every time they see a Bratz or their equally evil counterparts from Monster High, they immediately say things like, "Eeeew, Mommy. Look! They're so ugly!"

And it makes my heart glow with maternal pride that I have given them the rudimentary defense against the impending alien invasion.


Natasha Duncan-Drake said...

You've managed to explain Bratz - I am astounded. Is it a sign when conspiracy theories begin to make sense? :)
Tasha's Thinkings

Andrea said...

I knew there was a reason I turned my daughter against them! I am finally guilt what shall we do about those Monster High chicks?

Julie Flanders said...

Hilarious. I totally think you're on to something.

Not sure how I missed your blog in the past but I'm so glad to find it now through the A-Z. Thanks for visiting my blog, it's great to meet you. :)

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

And have you noticed how the most recent Disney movies have similar looking heroines? the invasion is coming.

Cheryl said...

I am so glad I'm not the only one whigged out by Bratz dolls. At least Barbie dolls are somewhat normal looking despite their embellished womanly features.

Now off to pack up every Bratz and Monster High doll in the house and burn them in the fire pit. I'll show those aliens.

Check out my post lacking in humor and substance at

Pat Hatt said...

If they start probing I'm going to eliminate every Bratz going.

S. L. Hennessy said...

Bahaha, Bratz and aliens. That's amazing.

Sherry Ellis said...

Bratz dolls do bear an uncanny resemblance to aliens. I will have to coach my kids as you have immediately if not sooner!

Lynda Dietz said...

I love this post for so many reasons. When our daughter was five years old, my aunt gave her a Bratz lookalike doll. We, of course, said NO WAY and returned it, telling her we didn't allow our daughter to play with dolls that were dressed as hookers. My aunt (ever the innocent) said, "Oh, I thought it was a ballerina." Yeah, because ripped black fishnet stockings and a miniskirt are high fashion for ballerinas everywhere.

randi lee said...

Laughing out loud here! Great connection. Well played!!!

debi o'neille said...

So that's how Bratz came about. Thanks for giving me a great laugh.

Crystal Collier said...

LOL! Beware the invasion! Oh my... We didn't like them because they were just ugly, but to know the true reason behind that ugliness...

Lexa Cain said...

I've always been suspicious of dolls too. Many of them are just creepy - and what about that "Chucky" doll? There's definitely something wrong with him. I'm glad you're educating your kids to repudiate the evil doll dominion.

Liz Blocker said...

Wow, now I feel like an experienced visitor - I got all excited, like, "HEY! I know the Bratz!" I felt like an insider ;) (Yes, I am a dork. Moving on)

Marci Koski said...

Thanks to your exposure of this well-planned conditioning of our youth, the aliens will have to find yet *another* toy to use in their malevolent schemes...I suppose this is why "My Buddy" dolls and Teddy Ruxpin are no longer in production. My god, what new horror will they come up with next???

40Plus Teenager said...

Damn, you caught onto the plan, quick Agent z, we need a new, love it, brill post.

S.K. Anthony said...

Oh my gosh! I think you're on to something LOL

Jamie Dement (LadyJai) said...

I've always hated BRATZ! Now I know why! LOL

Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
My A to Z Challenge
Caring for My Veteran

Sarah Balding said...

Oh my word, I almost became one of those people who is like, "OMG, space invasion?!?!" and gets eaten/decapitated/brutally disfigured in the first five minutes of the movie. But I'm prepared now. Next time I see a Bratz doll, I'm going to rip its head off to show the aliens I'm not to be trifles with. :)

Beverly Fox said...

I actually remember this post- it was hysterical then, and it still is!

Ava Quinn said...

@Tasha I think it is. ;)

@Andrea Glad to be of service!

@Julie Thanks! It's great to meet you too!!

@Sue Oh NOOO! You're right!!

@Cheryl Atta girl! You show them!

@Pat I'm behind you! (But not with a probe. Just as back up.)

@S.L. Thanks! :)

@Sherry Hurry! Before it's too late!!

@Lynda YES! Exactly! Thanks for stopping in. :)

@randi lee Thanks! :D

@Debi Absolutely!

@Crystal And the truth shall set you free!

@Lexa Ha!! Thanks!

@Liz lol! This is the only recent one I picked, so it'll probably be your only rerun. ;) So come back for more!

@Marci Baa haa ha! But now I have the My Buddy commercial song stuck in my head. Thanks. *evil glare*

@40+ HA! Yes, I'm onto you!! lol Thanks!

@S.K. You never know, even a blind pig finds an acorn sometimes! lol!

@Jamie Glad I could clarify your hatred! :D

@Sarah Now you know. And Knowing is half the battle. lol!

@Beverly Oh no! My only recent rerun and it's one you've already seen! I'll do better next time!

Jeff Laws said...

My daughter had a short phase into those things. Needless to say, I'm glad it was short. Mainly because it's less chance for the aliens to take us over.

Andi-Roo TheWorldForRealz said...

Thank goodness, my daughter was never into Barbies & dolls {she always preferred stuffed animals and hot wheels cars}, so we skipped right over the Bratz phenomenon. Even so, I could never quite figure out what parent would actually let their kid play with a toy that refers to itself in a negative way, and whose characters {as represented in animated episodes} are just that: brats. Based on the new data you offer herein, I'm gonna guess those parents have already been taken over by the invasion. I'll pray for their sad, possessed souls.

I'm participating in AtoZ, too.
See you around!

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